Come see what GJ's cooking up....
Here are some inventions that I'm currently working on in my lab..
Just thought I'd give you all a glimpse of what you'll be enjoying in the future...
- Home Detox kit.
- A button on a phone that will electrocute the shit out of the person on the other end. (Anyone else here work with stupid people all day on the phone?)
- An outlet that will be surgically installed on the back of your neck. This will allow you to plug your brain directly into your PC for "hands free typing"
- Instead of a water fountain, a FOOD fountain.
- An injection that will make your body only require a bowel movement once every ten years!
- An injection that will allow you to urinate shampoo.
- Dogs that can make beds and cook omelets.
- Cigarettes that are good for you, and TWICE as addictive.
- Red Jeans
- A guitar that you can plug into the back of your neck, and will play whatever you think.
- A university folks would go to after college that would teach people how NOT to treat retail workers like shit, no matter how much money they make. (Asshole U)
- Robots that would make us their sex slaves.
- Deer that shoot back.
- Guns that tickle instead of kill.
- Beer that makes people smart, and attractive to look at.
- Genghis Jon halloween costumes.
- A morning after pill that would make you forget who you slept with. So now you can have no reservations about sleeping with that lifelong friend of yours.
- The color gohak.
- A third parent, called a "Pom". The "Pom" would be the one taking care of the child when the other two are acting like idiots.
- Some sort of psychiatric medication (a la' anti-depressant) that would cure republicans. (It scares me how much money goes to cancer research and not to this!!!)
- A blow dryer for your whole body. This would be part of your shower, and would turn on when you shut the water off.
- Extra-yummy hot chocolate.
- A third sex, that both men and women are attracted to. (see "Pom")