Making new friends....
Ok, a little while back I been getting these emails from some pal of Seniorita Fruitcake
He goes by the Yahoo! name of "GenghisJonsuckmydick"
He's a very strange fellow.
He sent his first email under the subject "You thought I'd forgot" (Genghis stops for a moment and shivers)and wrote for a message "*kiss"
HA! So you know me, I giggled a bit, lost interest and moved on.
Then he starts sending emails like "I'm gonna get you, you piece of shit, just you wait, I'm gonna get you..."
I think I wrote back "yawn"
He was funny for awhile, but sometimes even a buddist just has to swat a fly if it gets too annoying.
But anyways, here's his "big" revenge.
Can you believe it? Listening to him you'd think he'd really have something cooking in the pot. But this is all I get??
Geez, what a weenie.
I mean, pretending I'm a homosexual isn't that exciting.
This isn't 1984. I'm a 2K man!
I'll have you know that Genghis Jon is down with the gay and lesbians of the world. I don't mind being referred to one at all.
As a matter of fact, I got some pictures of me dressed up in drag from a few Halloweens ago.
I'll be glad to send them to you bro, just promise me you won't wack off to them, OK?
Anyways, I'm sure the poor fellow did this just to get me to write about him. After all, negative attention IS attention, right?
But that's just the kind of guy I am.
I just give, and give, and give and never take. That's my damn bleeding heart again.
But anyways, Mr. GenghisJonsucksmydick got me thinking.
Since he's obviously so poor at "revenge" maybe I can offer the little guy some tips on how to really get my water boiling.
OK
- You can tell everybody on Diaryland that 73 readers CAN be wrong...
- Start calling yourself, "Genghis Ron." That'd get me to sign your guestbook, lemme tell ya....
- Make fun of how Bill didn't want to join the band me and that other Jon were starting. The Diary Guys...
- Put my hand in warm water while I'm sleeping. That'll make me pee in the bed and I'll wake all like "Huh?? ... What??? Ah......(Noticing what happened) GAWDAMN THAT GENGHISJONSUCKMYDICK GUY!!!!! HE MADE ME GO PEE IN THE BED, GAWDAMN' HIM!!!!!!!!!"
- Remove me from Uncle Bob's Army. Well, maybe we don't need to go THAT far.
- Throw toilet paper all over my house. Aw man, that would piss me off. But it wouldn't "piss me off" as much as the warm water trick would! HA!!! Get it?!?
- Tell me that the new Moutain Dew flavor, "Code Red" isn't that bad, and is equally enjoyable as the regular, classic Moutain Dew.
As you can see there is a world of things you can do that would really get my ass all wired up.
Please feel free to use any of the forementioned revenge tactics. I promise to act surprised!
But pretending to be my personal friend and saying that I'm gay...
Well, actually that's quite close to what one of my real friends might say anyways...
Hey, maybe you are one of my real friends??
Damnit!
-GJ
Comments?
