The New England Patriots are the NFL champions of the world!!
That's right.....the whole world!
You probably don't understand what that means, so let me explain it to you.
Say you know some guy who lives down the road who says he's the NFL champion of the world. Let's call him DICK. You can, with all authority say "Wrong DICK! The New England Patriots are the NFL champs of the world. You're the butt hair champion of the world."
Or, let's say he shoots back and says "What I meant to say was that I'm the NFL champion of Uganda." You're allowed (by law) to retort "That's boloney, DICK! The New England patriots are the NFL champs of the entire world! Uganda included. What you're thinking of, is that you're the monkey fornicating champion of Uganda. Big difference, DICK!"
That's right folks, the New England Pats won the superbowl, on one of the biggest upsets in superbowl history.
I hope this teaches all you people that don't live in New England that you suck.
We're better at just about everything, our guys have bigger dicks, our girls have bigger tits, our food tastes better, and George W. Bush was born in New England. (HA!)
Which may lead a lot of you to decide to pack up your things, move to New England, and leave your sucky ways behind.
Don't do that.
Leave your suckiness OUT of New England.
So, I enjoyed the patriots victory over my "Hunk-o-Unk's" house last night.
When I arrived, I walked in and screamed "THE DEMOCRATS ARE IN THE HOOOOWSE!!!!"
My war cry didn't go over well with the 15 card carrying members of the NRA.
Lemme' tell you, those conservatives can't take a joke!
I spent the rest of the night being referred to as "Ted Kennedy" in a mockingly fashion.
One dude was really pissed. He went off on his right to own a gun, and even started screaming at me saying "I swear to God, if you ever try to take away my gun, you'll have to do it kill me first! You hear me??? You tell your liberal friends that too, that if they try to take my gun from me, there'll be Hell to pay!!!!"
I was like "Chill out, homey! I'm not here to take away your guns!" the guy was seriously losing himself, thinking that I'm the "Liberal Gun Graber" Rush Limbaugh's been telling him about for so many years.
Scary people, but just the right crowd you want to spend Superbowl Sunday with.
can't wait to see them rednecks next year....