Surrender, Surrender, But Don't Give Yourself Away
Above: French people show their anger by burning their dinky Eurocars
A group of unruly kids recently began to riot in France over the fact that their country will now allow people under the age of 26 to get fired for whatever reason.
You know, same kind of deal every other non-unionized worker on the planet has, except that they're French and rely on their government to wipe their asses for them.
Anyways, the French govenment responded to the angry mob the way you'd expect them to. They surrendered.
In unrelated news I was just trying to rack my brain as to why 1 out of every 4 people in France is unemployed. I mean it just doen't make any sense. You mean to tell me that I could start a business in France, hire a bunch of guys and never be able to fire them per French law and people are not flocking there in DROVES trying to open businesses? That's just crazy.
Anyways, I'm a man of solutions, not empty criticism.Therefor I believe I have come up with the perfect solution for French politicians to finally be able to stand up to their people.
The answer is simple. Neuticles
Above: Balls. The Anti-French
What are Neuticles you ask? They're what the French have been waiting a long, long time for.
Neuticles were invented for dogs who, as the name suggests, got neutered.
Some pet owners claimed that once their dogs were deprived of their testicles they notice a loss of self esteem in it's personality.
The makers of Neuticles claim that having these prosthetics implanted on the neutered dog will cause it to regain it's confidence.
True, Nueticles have never been tested on a species that have never had any balls before. That said there is great hope in the thought that implanting them on Jaques Chirac would cause him to feel a confindence he's never known before.
Zese balls between my legs...zey' feel, how you say..good!
Just think, with Neuticles everytime a group of 12 citizens protests over the fact that their fromage is not as stinky as they'd like, and want the govenment to fix it, he won't have to throw the government to their mercy.
He can stand up there, tell his people to fuck off, and earn rewards from the fromage lobbyists, like a normal politician.