Alligators and Women
Here are some AMAZING simularities between alligators, and women that cannot be ignored any longer.
- Alligators snap at you just out of instinct. So do women.
- Alligators only choose the old, sick, and the weak as prey. So do women.
- Alligators have a remarkable capability to be able to leave their mouths open for hours on end. So do women.
- Alligators have thick skin, and an incredibly hard cranium. So do women.
- Alligators are cold blooded. Women are more cold blooded.
- Alligators are found in southeast Oklahoma and east Texas on the western side of their range to North Carolina and Florida in the east. So are women.
- Alligators are "scavengers" - they prefer dead or decaying meat to a "Live Kill" So do women.
- The strength of an alligator's jaw when closing is roughly 2000 lbs of pressure. Same with women.
- Alligators were invented by the evil scientist, Dr. Chy Stalling in the late 18th century in responce to the panda Bear. Women also hate pandas.
- Alligators are the offical state reptile in Florida. Women are the un-official state reptile in Florida.
- Alligators think it's funny when you stub your toe. So do women.
- There has never been a woman persident. There has never been an alligator president.
- Alligators are very agressive during mating season. Women are very agressive when you make fun of the fact that they have a dairy product coming out of their boobies.
- Women think they're all that. Alligators think they're all that AND a bag of chips!
- A cute nickname for an alligator is "Ali". Ali is a common woman's name.
- If you tell a woman what her problem is, she'll bite your head off. If you get close enough to an alligator to tell it what it's problem is, it will bite your head off.
- Alligators don't watch football. Women don't watch football.
- Women think Brad Pitt is great. Alligators think Brad Pitt would taste great.
- Alligators are protected by the government from harm, even though they want to kill you. Women, who kill at a much slower rate than alligators, are also protected from harm. (Both due to their effect on the eco-system)
- If you ask an alligator what you did wrong, it won't tell you. Neither will a woman.
- If you throw a football playfully at an alligator, it'll just stand there and give you a look. Ditto with the female.
Hmmmmm, something to ponder..