Angst on the IM
OK this is my second entry today. The pervious was the serious student version of Genghis Jon.
The following is the "chasing you aroung the park with his nuts hanging out" Genghis Jon.
mlrlizard: Um....and sorry to address you completely out of nowhere. I'm http://rumblelizard.diaryland.com. I'm a friend of FadeIn's.
Yahoo! Messenger: mlrlizard may be offline. If so, the message will still be sent and they will see it next time they log in. (4/11/2002 at 11:54 AM)
genghis_jon: oh, hello
mlrlizard: Did you get my last message?
genghis_jon: no, what message?
mlrlizard: I went off about how you're absolutely right about having to not need someone for a marriage to work.
mlrlizard: You put it well.
genghis_jon: No, I didn't get that
genghis_jon: But thanks
mlrlizard: Ah, well, you just got the upshot of it all right there. And you're welcome.
mlrlizard: So, keep up the good Diary-ing, and I'll see you later. Ciao.
genghis_jon: Tanks kid
mlrlizard: Uh, sure. And I'm prolly older than you, kid.
genghis_jon: naw, I'm 28
mlrlizard: Ha! I'm 32!
mlrlizard: Told ya, told ya!
mlrlizard: So how do you know Fade?
genghis_jon: Just through his diary
genghis_jon: do you know him in real life?
mlrlizard: Me and Rudey (http://rudey.diaryland.com) went to visit him in Chicago.
mlrlizard: 'twas fun.
mlrlizard: HIs couch is uncomfortable.
genghis_jon: did you meet him in d-land?
mlrlizard: No, actually, he's Rudey
mlrlizard: friend and I met him because she visited me and wanted to visit him too
mlrlizard: So we all got together and looked at each other suspiciously
mlrlizard: And then we got drunk and it was fun
genghis_jon: Fadein gets all the chicks
mlrlizard: Well, he didn't get me
genghis_jon: That bastard
mlrlizard: Where are you located?
mlrlizard: Just curious, I'mm not going to demand couch space
genghis_jon: some piece of shit called Connecticut
mlrlizard: I'm in Wisconsin
genghis_jon: Cool, I'm French so I like cheese too.
mlrlizard: Je suis Madame Frommage!
mlrlizard: I have no idea what I just said
mlrlizard: I'm prolly scaring you now
genghis_jon: naw, not me
mlrlizard: ("This bizarre girl IM'ed me and said she was Cheese! What the fock is the world coming to?!")
genghis_jon: so you're a fan of big johnsons, eh?
mlrlizard: That sort of got a little out of control
genghis_jon: I guess so!
genghis_jon: That's fucking funny
mlrlizard: I mentioned it once and then it got so much feedback that I talked about it again, and then THAT got so much feedback that I talked about it AGAIN
mlrlizard: But I'm done now, i promise
mlrlizard: I think about world politics, too
genghis_jon: No, it's too late for that shit. There's no turning back now.
mlrlizard: No turning back from the gigantic dick!
mlrlizard: Jeez, you mention one preference and suddenly you're the Queen Whore Jezebel
genghis_jon: Woman's curse
genghis_jon: So how was meeting Bill
genghis_jon: How did he not bang both of you, he's a handsome guy, no?
mlrlizard: It was fun, he's a nice guy. I think he and Rudey had some kind of online flirtation thing going, so I stayed out of the way
mlrlizard: And please, I do have a boy-fiend I stay physically faithful to
genghis_jon: I took Bill as a betting man. I would have thought he would have went for it.
genghis_jon: Boyfriend, shmoyfriend
genghis_jon: Them rules do not apply to Bill
mlrlizard: Shmoyfriend? Is that what we're calling them these days?
mlrlizard: Bill is a sweet and nice guy. And not my type.
genghis_jon: Boyfriends fear Bill. He's their arch-enemy
genghis_jon: You don't like sweet and nice guys?
mlrlizard: Sure I do. That's why I'm with my schmoyfriend.
genghis_jon: Or does he have a small weenie?
mlrlizard: I have NO clue about the size of Bill's weenie.
genghis_jon: Take a guess....
mlrlizard: Well, I would say that he's average-to-slightly-large if I had to venture a guess. He acts pretty confident.
mlrlizard: BUt then again he's an actor
mlrlizard: So maybe he's got a cocktail weiner
genghis_jon: Well so do I, and I'm hung like a tick.
mlrlizard: Why are we talking about Bill's dick?
mlrlizard: Why are we talking about your dick?
genghis_jon: Just breaking the ice
mlrlizard: Like a tick, huh?
genghis_jon: On a good day
mlrlizard: (hee hee)
mlrlizard: That's a good one
genghis_jon: It doesn't matter though. My French lovemaking moer than makes up for it.
mlrlizard: Or so you tell yourself
mlrlizard: Damn, did I type that out loud?
genghis_jon: Yeah, yeah, whatever.
genghis_jon: That's OK. I allow a lee-way for people from Wisconsin.
mlrlizard: Yeah we Wisconsinites have a hard time with the brain-mouth filter thing. The cheesehead hats restrict blood to the brain, don't cha know
genghis_jon: I wouldn't blame it on the cheese, friend.
mlrlizard: Okay, I won't. The cheese has nothing to do with it.
mlrlizard: That interview with your Unk was funny.
mlrlizard: I have an uncle like that.
genghis_jon: Really? How big is his dick?
mlrlizard: Ew. Never looked.
genghis_jon: You sure?
mlrlizard: You just put me off my lunch.
mlrlizard: How big is your uncle's dick? Have you looked?
genghis_jon: Well, that's not my thing. My thing is being an asshole. Your thing is big dicks. That and the Wisconson thing, leads me to ask you if you've seen your Uncle's, and what you would rate it.
mlrlizard: You remind me of my friend the Archbishop. I bet you two would really get along. His thing is being a total asshole too.
mlrlizard: Well, that and crappy punk rock bands.
mlrlizard: And drinking.
genghis_jon: You've seen an Archbishop's penis?
genghis_jon: You're sick!
mlrlizard: Nope, he lives in Sacramento, I've never seen it
mlrlizard: He's not a CAtholic archbishop. Here he is
mlrlizard: He's a freak deluxe
mlrlizard: And a total ass
mlrlizard: Good man
genghis_jon: Wow, seems like a pillar of his community.
mlrlizard: He hosts the Peep-Off every year.
genghis_jon: what the fuck is that?
mlrlizard: It's where people eat as many Peeps as they can whilst washing them down with Pabst. Winner gets a bottle of...Night Train, I think?
mlrlizard: Hold on
genghis_jon: And what trailer park would this be held at, prey tell?
genghis_jon: Hold on? I can't, I told you it's too small!!!
mlrlizard: I advise that you invest in some tweezers then
mlrlizard: Here's an exchange the Archbishop had with a woman he doesn't know http://www.nokilli.com/food/fiona.htm
genghis_jon: It looks like a tupper ware party for high school geeks
mlrlizard: And that's why you remind me of him
genghis_jon: How very Kid Rock of him.
mlrlizard: You're just jealous.
genghis_jon: Yes, I know.
genghis_jon: He towers over me.
mlrlizard: Actually, he's like 5'6
mlrlizard: So you must be pretty short
genghis_jon: You fucking love this guy, don't you?
mlrlizard: He's a good buddy
mlrlizard: I think he's really funny
genghis_jon: Yeah, but you're preety fucking impressed by him, huh?
mlrlizard: Pretty fucking impressed?
genghis_jon: I mean, he really makes ya giggle, huh?
mlrlizard: He does make me laugh a lot
mlrlizard: He's amusing
genghis_jon: JEZUZ KRRRIST!
genghis_jon: Do you really think he's that funny?
mlrlizard: He likes to push people's buttons and make them lose their temprt
mlrlizard: I do indeed think he's funny.
genghis_jon: I bet you also like backyard wrestling, huh?
mlrlizard: Well, as long as I'm not one of the combatants
mlrlizard: Actually, no one has ever wrestled in the backyard where I live. At least not that I know of
genghis_jon: What kind of pickup do you drive?
mlrlizard: 1998 Mercury Tracer
mlrlizard: How about you?
genghis_jon: Does your boyfriend play the banjo?
mlrlizard: Nope. Bass.
genghis_jon: What do you have more of, cases of beer in the fridge, or teeth?
genghis_jon: Feel free to count on your toes
mlrlizard: I've never had a cavity, actually.
genghis_jon: What the fuck does that have to do with anything??????
genghis_jon: Are you looking in the mirror right now?
mlrlizard: Well, your question implied that I'm missing teeth. I'm not missing any, as I've never had a cavity.
genghis_jon: I wasn't suggesting that you lost teeth due to decay. I was suggesting that you lost them through genetics.
mlrlizard: My genetics are fantastic!
genghis_jon: well said!
mlrlizard: My genetics will make your genetics rue the day!
genghis_jon: I'm sure they would.
mlrlizard: So what are you doing now? Not working?
genghis_jon: It appears that I'm talking with a monkey on a keyboard.
mlrlizard: Oh well. If you're going to be insulting, see you later.
genghis_jon: I didn't mean it like that
genghis_jon: I meant to say that the archbishop is a funny, funny guy.
genghis_jon: He's KILLING me!
genghis_jon: HA! Those antics!
genghis_jon: Somebody stop him!
genghis_jon: Holy cow!
genghis_jon: You're not talking to me.
genghis_jon: But strangely you haven't canceled the IM.
genghis_jon: I guess it's up to me to keep this conversation going.
genghis_jon: Hey Jon
genghis_jon: Hey, what's up?
genghis_jon: Not much.
genghis_jon: I'm pretty cool.
genghis_jon: Hey, have you heard of the archbishop?
genghis_jon: archbishop? No. No I haven't.
genghis_jon: He's fucking funny man!
genghis_jon: Hell yeah. He makes me laugh so hard, I poop!
genghis_jon: You Poop, Jon?
genghis_jon: That's right. The archbishop is so damn funny. I go poopies!
genghis_jon: Hey Jon, how come she still hasn't ended this IM session?
genghis_jon: I honest to God don't know.
genghis_jon: Why don't you ask her?
genghis_jon: YOU ask her!
genghis_jon: Alright you pussy, I'll ask her.
genghis_jon: Excuse me....
genghis_jon: Ma'am, me and my friend were wondering why, if not speaking to us, aren't ending this session?
genghis_jon: I don't think she's speaking to us
genghis_jon: Geez, I thought we were funny.
genghis_jon: Me too, but I guess even the archbisop wouldn't think this was funny.
genghis_jon: We suck, we're going to put this up in the diary, aren't we?
genghis_jon: Yeah, probably.
genghis_jon: We suck.
mlrlizard: You're a strange guy.
genghis_jon: Cool you're back!
mlrlizard: I was working. I didn't see you speaking to me.
mlrlizard: Hi there
mlrlizard: Ook ook
mlrlizard: I was just swinging from a tree wishing I had a banaba
genghis_jon: So what liquor store do you work at?
genghis_jon: Just kidding
mlrlizard: I wish I worked at a liquor store.
mlrlizard: Actually no I don't
mlrlizard: Where do you work?
genghis_jon: I work for the governor of Connecticut
mlrlizard: You're kidding?
mlrlizard: Are you @ senate.gov?
mlrlizard: I was wondering who that was
genghis_jon: Could be. I wouldn't tell you though.
mlrlizard: So why is someone like you working for the government?
genghis_jon: Not to be pompus. But I said I worked for the governor, not the senator.
mlrlizard: Yes, your'e right, you did. My mistake.
genghis_jon: Because the government fucking needs me!
mlrlizard: I thought maybe they shared a domain in your state or something.
genghis_jon: I straighten all the shit around here.
mlrlizard: You have crooked shit?
mlrlizard: A shit-straightener. Now that's a job title.
genghis_jon: ooooo....that was lame.....
mlrlizard: That was lame?
mlrlizard: Couldn't be as lame as my job.
genghis_jon: I'm afraid so
mlrlizard: I'm an Interactive Project Manager. Doesn't get much more pathetic than that.
mlrlizard: But at least I get to fuck off and surf most of the day.
genghis_jon: More time checking out that archbishop, huh?(!!!!!!)
mlrlizard: Not really, he hasn't updated in a while.
genghis_jon: Life is so unfair...
mlrlizard: Well, more time to read your stuff, and other people's stuff
mlrlizard: Life is unfair
genghis_jon: Fuck other people's stuff. Everyone elses stuff is pure shit compared to mine.
mlrlizard: Easy there
genghis_jon: Fuck you! I will not take it easy. How dare you compare me to anyone else?
mlrlizard: When did I compare you to anyone else? I was just telling you to take it easy so you don't have a hemorrhage or something
mlrlizard: Sounded like you were getting all puffed up
mlrlizard: Bad for the cerebral cortex
genghis_jon: Anyways, enough about you.
genghis_jon: Let's talk about me.
mlrlizard: You're crazy
genghis_jon: No, let's talk about you. So you think you're a hot chick or something?
mlrlizard: Well, I'm not horrible, but I wouldn't say I'm all that hot
mlrlizard: Or at least not in the airbrushed Playboy way
mlrlizard: I'm too partial to t-shirts and sketchers for that
mlrlizard: Why do you ask?
genghis_jon: I get the feeling that you think you are, I was just wondering.
mlrlizard: Well, I admit that I'm kind of egotistical sometimes, but it's not because I think I'm hot
genghis_jon: I mean, I'd talk to you nicer if you were.
mlrlizard: If I was hot?
mlrlizard: And as a follow-up question, what makes you think I care about how you talk to me? It's not like I know you, or, like, care or anything
genghis_jon: Becuase I find hot chicks interesting. I also enjoy thoughts of rolling around with them.
genghis_jon: What are you, a character in Clueless?( "like, I care....")
mlrlizard: LOL! LOL!!!!!
mlrlizard: So have you read the "Troubled Teen" journal?
genghis_jon: No, everyone elses diary is shit. Do you have a memory of around 10 seconds, or something?
mlrlizard: Why do you ask?
mlrlizard: I thought you were just blowing wind there.
mlrlizard: About everyone else's journals being shit, I mean.
mlrlizard: Because you've got a lot of links to other diaries on yours
genghis_jon: No, it's true. Haven't you read them?
mlrlizard: I've read a few, and admittedly, the majority of them are craptastic in the extreme
genghis_jon: Yes, that's if you're done reading good stuff, and you want shit
genghis_jon: Of coarse they are, do you think I'm a liar?
mlrlizard: You're a kind of silly guy, aren't you.
mlrlizard: I just think you try to sound like such an over-the-top asshole that you come off being kind of nice and silly and funny.
genghis_jon: Hell no, I'm all business. here are you getting that from?
mlrlizard: See above.
mlrlizard: Well, I've been known to be mistaken in the past.
genghis_jon: Nice and silly and funny is Bill. I'm meaner than a coyote in a death trap in Febuary.
mlrlizard: Uh huh.
mlrlizard: Bill isn't nice and silly and funny. Bill is whipsmart and out for himself and bound to go far.
mlrlizard: Although he does make a good show of being a nice guy.
genghis_jon: That's what he wants you to think. Trust me, he gives half of his salary to the March of Dimes.
mlrlizard: Uh oh!
mlrlizard: A softie after all!
genghis_jon: Well, I gotta go to lunch. I'll talk to you later
mlrlizard: Later on, man.