My boss just pulled me into a room and read me the riot act. I've been sucking here, BIGTIME lately.

Because the tao of Jon reads that whenever I get stressed, I start caring about nada.

I pertty much answer the phones at work by saying "What the fuck do you want??"

So, my boss pulls me into the room and informs me that I suck.

I concur.

She also says that I'm not going to be written up at this point for the sole reason that I'm such a likeable guy.

My Gallic-charm gets me out of another jam. Suc mi bleu!

She goes on to say that they are creating a new position that seems like it was designed for me. She wouldn't get into specifics, dropped some hints that it would entail surfing the net alot.

They mind as well call it the "Genghis Jon Position" because nobody on the planet is more qualified than I am for it.

She said that they want to give it to me, but can't if I'm not showing I can take directions.

Wow, that's the first time I got scolded and informed that I would be promoted in a month's time.

So now I'm being on my best behavior. Well, not really, I mean I probably shouldn't be updating my online diary minutes after my talking to. But hey, nobody's perfect.

Anyways, I went an checked out an apatrment yesterday with my friend John who will become my new roommate.

People are always saying to us, "isn't it going to be hard living with someone with the same name?"

That's the dumbest thing I ever heard!

His name is "John." My name is "Jon."

He has 25% more letters in his name than me. HUGE difference.

Anyways, we looked at a place yesterday that was the greatest place ever!

I mean fucking fabulous. I want to die in that apartment.

It's a turn of the century, victoria style 2 family house.

Complete with hardwood floors, huge basement, and lesbian neighbors upstairs.

Something for everyone.

I was walking around the place with a hard-on.

I was shmoozing pretty well until John opened his big mouth and offered the information that "we both play guitar."

What an asshole, he did this before and the potential landlord's face turned white. You tell a potential landlord that two guitar players want to live move in, and they understanibly freak.

I told him before, you DO NOT tell them that we play music. I mean, I'm telling this guy about church activities that I donate time to, and puppies that I save, and the first FUCKING thing John said the whole time we were in there, when asked what he does was say "I play guitar."

Not "I work full time."

Not, "I go to college."

But "I FUCKING play guitar."

Nipple.

And then he offers "and he plays bass!"

I quickly threw in, "but we don't have amps, so you won't be hearing a thing mister, and honestly-we only play for our local church and..."

I was interupted by the landlord smiling at John and saying "Really? Wow, I play guitar to. What kind of stuff do you play?"

They went on talking about jazz folks that I've never heard of. I waasn't comfortable not being in controll of the conversation with the landlord, because John is capable of saying anything.

I was afraid he might say "How about that 9/11, we sure had that coming, huh?"

But John did well. The guy seemed really nice. And I'm praying to GOD that we get this place!

I wanna get my hopes up, but I know if this falls through I'm gonna be a sad little puppy.

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