Christmas Gift Idea
As a guy approaching his child creating years, I find myself having fears about my future offspring.
No, not that they'll be healthy and happy and all that crap. I mean really, who cares? What does concern me is that I'll have a couple of boys and they'll turn out to be wussies.
I know, I know. That's not something most people think about. But I have to be honest. I'm French. Chances are so will they. In all likliness they won't exactly be the schoolyard bullies. Most probably they'll be giving their lunch money to the special ed kids.
Thankfully there is a solution to having sissy little "boys".
THE GEORGE W BUSH ACTION FIGURE
GI Joe is a fag! Turn your boys into men with the President Bush action figure. Complete with his combat aviator suit, just like the one he wore in the national guard when he kept our country safe from a possible Mexican invasion.
When your kids start playing with the commander in chief action figure, they'll begin to realize that the schoolyard is filled with evildoers that hate our freedom.
And despite what their French heritage tells them, surrender isn't an option.
When your kids have the George W Bush action figure, schoolyard bullies aren't just messin' with them as individuals anymore. Ut-ugh. They'll be messin' with Texas.
The George W Bush action figure will give your kids real life values taught in the state of Texas.
Like declaring war on kids smaller than you that may someday, somehow pose a threat to your way of life.
George W Bush would never take any crap from a country smaller than his, and neither will your son when you equip him with the Presidential action figure.
But sometimes violence isn't the best solution. For instance when the opponent turns out to be bigger than you. Or at least big enough that you can't whip his butt with the greatest of ease. When that happens, the George W Bush action figure teaches the virtues of diplomacy, and solving ones problems by trying to talk things out one on one, or with a coalition of teachers and parents.
You're either with us or against us in saying this is the most educational toy your son will ever own. So don't be a commie. Buy one today.
"That's an order, son!"