I hate cabbage.
There is no mistaking the fact that the worst vegetable that God damned the planet with is cabbage.
When one hears the word "cabbage" it provokes ill thoughts, able to turn ones stomach just by mention.
Think for a moment of that name....
Like it was given by an unloving mother.......Cabbage.
The history of cabbage is fitting.
First used for consumption by the ancient race of the Samaritans in 780 BC.
Cabbage was the last resource to feed a starving people. Soon after the choice of "cabbage or death" came to pass.....the Samaritans, known for their advanced intelligence and sensibility, gladly choice the latter and soon vanished from the face of the Earth with dignity.
Sadly, the Devil's lief didn't share their fate.
Historians agree, that most world catastrophes can be directly liked to this plant.
For instance, Genghis Khan as a child was know to be a warm, peaceloving tike.
That is, until one day when he was given a head of cabbage for dinner.
After the horrible feast, Genghis Khan quickly slaughtered his father, united the Mongols, and headed out through Asia and Europe in a campaign to rid the world of this wicked plant. Bringing down any empire that dared to stand in his way.
Unfortunately, even the mighty Genghis Kahn was unable to subdue this threat to humanity.
Another major tragedy that would of been avoided if not for the "C word" is the invention of sour kraut.
Little does history recall, that sour kraut was actually invented by the German military in WWII.
The original purpose of this recipe of coarse, was to be loaded on to aircrafts, and dropped over allied forces.
This could have easily won the war. Fearing the worst, the allied nations figured that the only way to defend themselves from this un-Godlike act, was to not give out the appearance of the carnage they were causing. As a public display of mockery, U.S. and British forces would parade around the streets, putting the vile muck on hot dogs, as if it were a condiment of all things!
This tradition (using of the cabbage slop on a hot dog) is still being done today by people who want to show that they are the bravest of the brave.
The government has been useless to deter this ritual.
Henceforth, is my conclution.
That cabbage is not only the worst vegetable, but plain evil as well.