Straight Outta' P-Town
I get a lot of email from people asking "Hey GJ, who's your favorite rap star?"
Great question. I've had some people speculate that it's DMX, or Jigga, or Slim Shady cause he's also a white boy trapped inside a brother's body.
But truth be told, my all time favorite Hip Hopper is Caushun, The gay rapper.
This choice might come as a surprise to some of you, seeing that the idea of gay rappers was my fucking idea. Truth be told I'm just glad that this guy is out there, I don't care who gets the credit for him.
Another thing that might surprise you is that aside from him being my favorite rapper, I've never heard one song from the guy. Not one.
But (no pun intended) my imagination is soring when I think of the possibilities.
Could you imagine a gansta thug rapping about men the way others rap about "bitches"? That's gonna be GREAT!
I really need to manage this guy. I'd call his album either "Out of the closet, into the 'Hood" or "Fuck Tha' Police (Literally)"
I have a lot of great promos slogans for him too. Like "Caushun. A gay black man with a gun. Scared yet?"
Or "Caushun. The rapper that's coming up from behind!"
Or maybe "Caushun. A sucka' and proud!"
Or perhaps the direct approach "Caushun. HE FUCKS MEN IN THE ASS!!!!!!
I can't wait to hear the reaction from the Hip Hop community on this little Twinkie. If he's smart, he'll play aggressive and won't cry or nuttin' when he gets dissed.
Like when Snoop Dog says that what he does is disgusting, he should reply "He wasn't saying 'dat when he was sucking my dick!"
Or when Eminem calls him a fag, he should reply "I'm fag enough to jerk it off on his vanilla bun and make me a breakfast danish, the white closet fag-lover that he is..."
Oh I love disaray with everything i got. For the last 15 years or so rap music has been the same thing over and over again. Bunch of people talking about how bad they are, and how many bitches they get. It was interesting the first thousand times I heard it.
The day that I turn on the radio and hear a guy rap about how he was butt-fucking some dude and ran out of KY Jelly is the day I'm gonna start listening to the radio again.
I imagine one problem we may have here is him getting a little frisky with that awful phalic looking mirophone. Or as the homosexual community calls it "The electric dick of death"
If he manages to control himself, and use the mike for it's sole purpose, I think he'll be around a long, long time.
Speaking of which, I'm on vacation this week.
This weekend I'm going to Montreal for their Jazzfest thingy that they do. Sadly i will not be with my fellow countrymen as the celebrate Independance Day.
So I'll have to make due celebrating whatever it is Canadians celebrate. Dependance Day or whatever.