Me and my roommate, John, decided to get digital cable. Now why would I work so hard to make money to spend on this you ask? That's easy. So we can watch maybe three channels that cannot be found on the regular, $9.95 cable.

Nope, we take our TV time so seriously that we gladly hand out $63.95 a month. In all fairness, you cannot put a price on VH1 Classics. To be able to turn your TV on at any given moment during the day, and watch "The Dream (FUCKING!)Police" by Cheap Trick, or "Hold Me (FUCKING!) Now" by the Thompson Twins. Well, don't tell the folks over at AT&T, but I'd pay a lot more. I'd quit smoking to pay for this shit.

Anyways, not all videos they play are as holy. Some are evil.

Damn evil.

A cover of "Cool Jerk" by The Go-Go's?

Fucking evil.

Me and John were leaving the house one day when our eyes caught this. I'm seriously not a good enough writer to describe this ungodly video. All I can do is transcribe our conversation...

GJ- Is that Belinda Carlisle?

John- I think it's the Go-Go's.

GJ- Did she just say that she's the queen of the Cool Jerk?

John- Think of a happy place, Jon.

GJ- I can seriously feel my IQ dropping.

John- I think I can feel my brains dripping out my ears.

GJ- She's queen of the warm jerk, maybe.

John- Definately not the Cool Jerk though.

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