The Gay Gov
Hey, see this guy right here?
That guy is a gay American.
Wanna' know how I know?
'Cause every news site I go to has a picture of him with the title "I AM A GAY AMERICAN".
He's not just any other gay American mind you, he's New Jersey Gov. James McGreevey, and he's not gonna' be poked around anymore!
Anyways, the press conference he gave was kinda' confusing. I didn't know you couldn't be gay and be governor. I figured at least they'd have a don't ask don't tell policy.
It should be noted that he did have an affair with his homeland security advisor. Which I guess means screwing your staff is reserved for the straight politicians.
And is that really so wrong? Does he have to lose his job over this? See, if I was him I'd give a speech like "Yes, I did have sex with him, but it was...ever hear of a 'work lunch'? This was 'work sex'. Basically he used my body as a map of New Jersey, with my anus being ground zero. His penis played the part of the missles that the terrorists would love to pound us with over and over again."
"Was it still sex? Yes. But do I have more of an appreciation of how badly these thugs want to rock New Jersey? You better believe it. I don't know if I would have completely comprehended the magnitude of the situation if it wasn't drilled into me."
His wife was standing next to him wondering what kind of carnage she inflicted in her previous life to deserve this. She'll be married to some guy who owns a bunch of Jiffy Lubes this time next year.
JIFFY LUBE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!