January 11th and it's almost 50 degrees out. Hippies are so stupid, how the fuck could anyone look at this like a bad thing?
Global warming kicks major fucking ass! Every scientist in the world should be doing everything in their power to speed up the process. I always thought helping people stay warm was a bleeding-heart, liberal cause.
So why is Joe Democrat going around giving blankets to the homeless then later that day complaining about global warming?
What did the Deadhead say when he ran out of pot? What's this shit I'm listening to?"
"Hi Mr. Homeless Man, here's a blanket. Now I hope it get's really freezing out here, that would be great!"
It's like you want them to be warm with the blankets and then freeze to death in the snow, make up your mind!! Hey, here's a free clue, hippy. Ever think if the globe warmed to an acceptable level these homeless people wouldn't need your shitty blankets?
You can start by not slapping Mother Nature's hand every time she reaches for the thermostat. Has anyone even considered that global warming isn't caused by hairspray and farting? That maybe, just maybe, the Earth evolves the same way it's inhabitants evolve. That maybe it's adjusting itself to suit our needs, hmmm, hippy, hmmmm?
And by responding to her kindness we provoke her with the Kyoto treaty, leaving her no choice but to evoke her wrath with Tsunamis and Level 4 hurricanes. I mean if you were the Earth and trying to do humans a favor and they came back with a treaty that all but eliminated exciting and fun pollutants from your atmosphere wouldn't you get a little pissed off? I would.
Kyoto Treaty? You ingrates, I willl CRUSH YOU!
Now that would be one thing if the hippies left it at that, but they go on to actually say that warming up the north pole is going to hurt the animals up there. Bullshit. You know what you call a polar bear in 70 degree weather? A grizzly. Any idiot knows that a polar bear is only white because they're freezing to death, not unlike a homeless person that's blueish.
Trust me when I tell you that polar bears aren't hopping around ice bergs becuase they love the fucking cold so much. They just have a hard time booking a flight to Florida. The kindest thing anyone could do to these majestic creatures is warm the place up a little. They'll probably lighten up a little too.
So in conclusion I just want to say that anybody agaist global warming should live in a freezer with a real pissed off polar bear that knows you're campaigning to keep them cold.