Genghis Jon Interviews Your Punk Ass! Episode IXFeaturing Ladee Leroy!!!!!
I forgot how I was first found Ladee LeRoy. I think it might have been through Diaryland Survivor. She came in a strong second in that, one vote short to my predicted winner, TV Zero.
Anyways, she started IMing me one day, and we hit it off famously. Her humor is straight out, wicked, and nonstop. You'd think she was raised by clowns. Shit, I should of asked her that. Anyways, here's Leroy....
Genghis Jon- You said that you kissed 4 girls in your life, but they were all for "the sake of good theater". First question, who the hell's writing these plays? A bunch of drunken frat kids? Ron Jeremy?
Ladee Leroy- As much as I would like to think that a bunch of drunken frat kids would be capable of writing a script that addressed lesbian issues and treated lesbian love in a romantic, mature manner, I have to be realistic and think that they'd follow a more simplistic plot line that would involve a magical talking keg and a sofa that layed eggs made of kind bud. I don't know if Ron Jeremy ever wrote a play, but I do recall seeing a workshop of Peter North's "Two Girls In Love With My Ginormous Man Penis." I think there was some girl on girl kissing in that and a discussion about lesbian love making was mentioned, but I wasn't involved in the live staging of that production. Alas.
Genghis Jon- I was thinking of writing a play where you wash my car, and do my laundry. You in?
Ladee Leroy- Only if I get to make out with a girl while doing it. Oh, and your car has to be one of the magical, talking ilk. Oh yeah- I should get to make out with your car, too.
Genghis Jon- Despite the warnings of countless t-shirts, I was thinking of messing with Texas. A lot of my friends say "No Jon! Please! Don't mess with Texas!" You're from Texas, what do you think I should do?
Ladee Leroy- Daaaaaaaaaaamn. I'm not from Texas. I just moved here to go to school and can't afford to move away. I say, do whatever the hell you want to Texas.... but if you lay a finger on Louisiana I'll kick your ass so hard you'll be crapping out of your scalp. That's right. I said crapping. Out of your scalp, bucko.
Genghis Jon- Ever think about holding a contest where you'd fly out to meet some stranger you met on the internet and "date" him? That sort of thing appeal to you?
Ladee Leroy- No. No it doesn't. The words 'contest,' 'stranger,' 'date' and 'internet' are just not ones that I want to have connected to an experience in my life. If I were to hold such a contest, I'm sure that the words 'awkward,' 'alot of Battleship playing' and 'flew home earlier than expected' would be involved in the conclusion of said contest.
Genghis Jon- If you can kill mentally retarded people in Texas, why can't I kill left-handed people?
Ladee Leroy- I'm sure that there is a law in Texas saying that it's perfectly legal to kill any person in Texas left-handed or otherwise... just as long as they can't afford their own attorney and are a minority (which all left-handers are), you're set.
Genghis Jon- I just read this entry. Hey, I think I'd fit in rather nicely in your relationship there. Have you and your man ever thought about becoming polygamists to make room for GJ?
Ladee Leroy- After looking at your finger x-ray template, I think that an arragement can be made.
Genghis Jon- In regards to the the fore-linked entry, I see a lot of myself in your-man, Lipman. The only thing I would of done differently is I would have called you a "fucking nipple", and I probably would of hit you with the car. I still would of taken you to Wendy's, but I would of had you refer to me as 'Mr Rightypants' in front of the cashier. Next question, why can't I hold a relationship?
Ladee Leroy- I don't know why. Most girls fall for really sensitive guys like you. It might be your breath or your table manners. But I'm positive it's not your maturity.
Genghis Jon- Do women love Texas because it's SOOOO BIG?
Ladee Leroy- Have you seen the size of its panhandle? You know what they say about big panhandles, don't you? Big pans. Ah yeah.
Genghis Jon- (The following question is a test to measure your fuse. This is only a test.) Because women think emotionaly, as opposed to males who think logicaly, doesn't it just make sense for you not to question them?
Ladee Leroy- Oh we're not questioning you, we're just planting ideas in your head because whatever you're doing is obviously not right and you need our emotional instinct to help you find your way........ PIG.
Genghis Jon- I speak to people from Texas all the time at work. Can you tell me what the fuck "Wilt" means? Here it is used in a sentence. "Wilt, I done just get here dis CD-Rom ya'll sent me..."
Ladee Leroy- "Wilt" is Texan for "Yankee fucker." They're insulting you. Respond with "Itellsya" as in "Itellsya, ya stick dat in da hayrd dreeve." "Itellsya", is, I believe, East Coast for "Red Neck Jerk Ass." Either way, it sounds like you have a shitty job. I'm just saying.
Genghis Jon- This isn't a question, but one time on the IM you said to me "You're a big pussy, leaking kittens." That was the #1 grossest thing I've ever heard in my life. That was awful. Don't ever do that again.
Ladee Leroy- Wow. I believe it was "A big kitten-leaking pussy." I'm honored that I'm #1 in that category. Let me know when it drops rank and I'll figure out away to regain my standing.
Genghis Jon- Critique this pick-up line. "Hi I'm Jon, wanna' get it on?"
Ladee Leroy- It's direct and it rhymes. I don't know how you even have time to interview people when you're throwing that diamond of a picker-upper out there.
Genghis Jon- Thank you for playing, any departing words?
Ladee Leroy- Wait. Don't I get to draw a set of keys out of a bowl and try to start one of those cars you have displayed over there? Oh. I want the red Chevette.
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