Very long survey
Because I haven't stolen anything in awhile, I decided to swipe the survey from her and claim it as my own.
Here you go folks, all the stuff you wanted to know about GJ but were afraid ask....
1. What facial feature do you find the most attractive on others?
I'd have to say lips. Big breasts are way over-rated. Any good Frenchman will tell you, it's all about the lips.
2. Would you vote for a woman candidate for president?
I think it's clear that I'm not the most PC guy on the planet. But I always try to vote for a female, as long as they're not too far to the left, or the right. I feel that women are superior diplomats, and better decision makers overall, due to the fact that they don't have a penis that they have to show off.
3. Would you marry for money?
Naw. I dated a few rich girls and can honestly attest that money doesn't make you happy. Rich people have more problems than poor people.
4. Have you had braces?
Nyet. I have perfect teeth. Thanks,God!
5. Do you pluck your eyebrows?
No. I don't wear a skirt either.
6. Do you ever cut or hurt yourself?
Not nearly enough. You should ask this guy though, because I bet he does.
7. When was the last time you had a hickey?
When I was 20 I dated a girl names Renee Hickey. That would make it about 8 years since I "had a Hickey".
8. Could you live without a computer?
Oh, hell no. It's sad how dependent I've become on the damn thing. It's even sadder when I get so depressed with the real world that I try to crawl inside the motherboard. Imagine that! A grown man trying to climb inside his Apple G4. Jeesh.
9. Do you use ICQ, AOL Buddy list etc..?
I tried using ICQ for awhile but it makes no sense to me. I don't see why everyone uses it. But the others I use. I leave it on at work, and a thousand times a day some yob will contact me saying "Genghis Jon! I read your diary, you're the best!" I'll say, "Thanks. What diary are you?" and they'll tell me. I'll go check their buddy list, see if I'm on it. 9 out of 10 times I'm not. I'll get back on and say. "Your diary is the biggest waste of cyber-space ever. Let me ask you something. Any good size bridges in your town that you could take advantage of? I mean, I'm just saying what I would do if I wrote such crap!" I actually have that statement saved, so I can just copy and paste when needed.
11. If you could live in any past time period, which would it be?
Well, there are a lot. I would have loved to fight along side my French brethren during anyone of those cool wars they use to have. Let's face it...the French had some cool wars! A family historian my dad hired discovered that I'm related to Charlemagne. Charlie was my favorite historical figure. I mean the Catholic church was like "Momma Mia! Thesesa' barbarians are'a gonna' take'a over Rome!" And Charlemagne replied "NOT IF I CAN HELP IT!!!!!!" And proceeded to kick some barbarian ass, and save the church. Horay! I think it's safe to say that the modern French are snobby, whinny morons for the most part. It's nice to know that their was at least one other bad motherfucker that shares my nationality.
12. Do you drink enough water?
That depends who you ask. Most experts, at least the ones that they're giving press to, are saying you should drink a gallon every hour, or something. So I'd have to say no.
13. Do you wear shoes in the house or take them off?
Yes I wear shoes in the house. The shoe removal custom is a woman rule. I do not pay much attention to women rules, simply because they are rules made by people who do not have a penis. If a man cannot tread his own castle in his footwear of choice, where will it end?
14. What is your favorite fruit?
Richard Simmons.
15. Do you eat wheat bread or white?
Since I already am white bread, I usually choose the wheat, just for some variety.
16. What is your favorite place to visit?
Montreal, hands down.
17. What is the last movie you saw?
Not counting pornos, I think it was Freddy Got Fingered.
18. Do you kiss on the first date?
I usually do not. If they're trying to kiss me, they're sluts. If they're not trying to kiss me, then I'm trying to kiss them. But it doesn't matter, because they want to take things slow and not rush into anything, and they'd appreciate if if I put "that thing" away, blah, blah....
19. Are you photogenic?
No way. I somehow get down syndrome during that split second when the photo is being taken.
20. Do you dream in color or black and white?
Always color.
21. Are you wearing fingernail polish?
Pleeeeeease.
23. Do you have any dimples?
Nope.
24. Do you remember being born?
Of coarse not. Anybody that says they do, should put out their pants because they are a LIAR!
25. Why do you take surveys?
Nice question. Because every now and again my readers might find it interesting to hear odd facts about me, like why I take surveys and the such...
26. Do you drink alcohol?
No. Not in 9 years. I use to drink a lot when I was young, but not anymore. All booze does is turn people into retards. I lost the desire to do that a long time ago.
27. Did you like or do you like high school?
Fuck no! I lived in the city up until my sophomore year in high school. After that, my father had a great idea to move us to the suburbs. So from spending my entire life, going to school that looked like total trash. To going to white-breadville, that had school spirit and shit. And would
28. What is the most beautiful language?
Swahili
29. When you are asleep do you like being kissed awake?
NO! I'm a violent sleeper. I used to have a friend that would come over my house, and if he caught me sleeping-he'd pick me up by the legs and spin me around. Ever since then, I've been defensive in my sleep, and even smacked a couple of poor bastards in my sleep that made the mistake of putting their hand on me while I was in my slumber.
30. Do you like sunrises or sunsets the most?
Who cares?
31. Do you want to live to be 100?
Hell no.
32. Do you think women should be expected to shave their body hair?
Yes. I know that's not very PC, but yes. I've had the misfortune to bare witness to a couple of "ladies" declaring their independence by not only refusing to shave their pits, but show it to the world by wearing tank tops and lifting their arms at every given opportunity. That is just fucking WRONG! I'm glad these women feel all right with themselves that they are able to do that. But point taken, shave your fucking pits!!!
33. Do you like salty food or sugary food the most?
Great question! I like sugary, but my girlfriend likes salty.
34. Is a flat stomach important to you?
No. My modeling days are long gone.
35. Do you or have you played with a ouija board?
Yes. I think the guy that started marketing these things is a genius.
36. Are you loyal?
Absolutely. I think cheating on somebody is the worst thing you could do. If it's done at the expense of someone you love, I'd go so far as to say it's evil. I've never really been tempted because at the first signs of the girl turning mental, or obsesive, they get a disconnected phone message when they try to call.
37. Are you tolerant of other people's beliefs?
Yes, as long as they're not morons. Not for some though. I hate pagans, and other dipshits that have beliefs for the sole purpose of being unique. I feel if I can be unique without being stupid, so should they.
38. When you watch movies at home, do you like the lights on or off?
I-DON'T-CARE!
39. Do you believe in magic?
In a young girl's heart.
40. Do you have nightmares frequently?
Yes, I have this reoccurring nightmare about taking a survey, then being asked all these boring questions. *shiver*
41. Do you like your nose?
I like my pride more, which is keeping me from answering that stupid question.
42. Do you like abstract art?
I think most art is a sham. I've seen some pretty dumb shit that people right off as genius. Abstract art attracts a very pompus crowd. So I try hard not to be too fond of anything abstract.
44. Do you listen to music daily?
Yes, always. I'd shrivel up and die without my Pixies.
45. Do you like to watch cartoons?
I like Fritz the Cat
46. At what age did you find out that Santa Claus wasn't real?
He's not?????????
47. How many pairs of shoes do have in your closet?
Maybe four. Were you really wondering?
48. Do you like to wear the same shoes everyday or do you like a variety?
I think the guy that wrote these questions has a foot fetish.
49. Do you write poetry?
Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. How many more stupid questions. Do I have to go through?
50. Do you snore?
Well, the last time I recorded myself sleeping I did find that their was about 20 minutes of solid snoring going on.
51. Do you sleep more on your back, front, or sides?
I'm all over the place.
52. Would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler?
Who would rather have a poodle? Poodles are a joke. Rottweilers are great. My friend had one and he was the sweetest dog. The whole thing about them being mad killers are a myth.
53. Do you lick stamps?
I swear to God......
54. Do you use an electric can opener?
Do they make those anymore? I haven't seen one in years....
55. Have you ridden in a hot air balloon?
Listen, I'm scared of heights. I can't climb a ladder, much less get inside a basket that's soaring through the air by a balloon,of all things.
56. Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?
That's kinda' a pretty broad question there. I mean, stubbing my toe as opposed to walking in on your fiance getting bangbanged by a hockey team?
57. Do you think balding men should shave their heads?
No. Listen. If you're going bald and you shave your head people will notice. It's just like the old comb over thing. You ain't fooling anyone. Acceptence is the answer to your balding whoas. Accept that you're modeling days are over, and you'll be fine.
58. Do you know anyone who is clinically depressed?
Let's see, me, my dad, my mom, 2 uncles, 4 aunts, and about 12 friends. We're statring a group called "Team Depression."
59. Do you prefer a piano or a violin?
I like them both.
60. Are you a sex addict?
I think about it 487.3 times on any given day. But that just makes me an average male.
61. Do you know someone who has cancer?
Two of my friend's fathers.
63. Do you hunt?
I went hunting one time with my uncle Doug. I was pretty excited about going out with the men. I was young, and they gave me a huge gun. I thought it was the coolest thing. We were walking around the forest, giving hand signals, being as quiet as possible it was great. After a few hours of not finding anything, we started heading home. On our way back we heard something and went to check it out. We found a black bear caught-dead in a bear trap, with two little cubs laying next to it's dead mother. The cubs were already weak from not eating in awhile and would probably die that night. I went home and promised I'd never hunt again.
64. Do you like fast food joints, or expensive restaurants?
I like expensive fast food joints.
65. Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?
A zoo. Great hunting.
66. Do you have a middle name?
I'll never disclose it. It's freakin' awful!
67. Are you basically a happy person?
No, not really. Sometimes
68. Are you tired?
I'm exhausted!
69. Did you drink anything with caffeine in it today?
Coffee
70. Have you ever met anyone off the internet?
71. How many phones do you have in your house?
One.
72. How long is your hair?
It's shaggy. In my eyes in the front. Semi-mulletish in the back.
73. Do you get along with your parents?
No, but it's very comfortable that way.
74. What color of eyes do you prefer?
I never look at eye color.
75. Are you an active person?
Sometimes. When I'm chasing women I am.
76. What medications do you take?
None. I use to take prozak, paxil, and xanax.
77. What does your bedroom look like?
Shit.
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