Yeah I knowthere's a lot of shit goin' on that I should be talking about, forced naked arab orgies and whatnot. Usually I'd be all over that. I'm all about US soldiers forcing Iraqi prisoners into a big gay ball of flesh.

Sadly you'll just have to read one of the countless books I've written on the subject. Right now I have to turn my attention to McDonald's.

Now, I'm sure many of you recall my critique on the notorious McGriddle. The sandwich so evil, every single one is prepared right in Hell to ensure McDonald's high standards.

Anyways, after your artery's worst nightmare was introduced last year, we were left to wonder what new horrors the folks at McDonald's were cooking up in their labs.

I speculated the McRazor, and McCyanide.

What we got was so out of left feild it's not even funnt.

ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Adult Happy Meal.

What's so happy about this meal? well, it'll at least try not to kill you so fast.

The Adult Happy meal is a healthy alternative to 100% of what else is on the menu.

It includes a salad, a bottled water, and a pedometer- used to count the number of steps you take. Just what every McDonald's patron has been waiting for.

I was a little curius so I got one the other day. I was suprised to learn that I had my choice of salads. One I remember had chili or something on it. Old habits die hard I guess.

i think I got the California cobb. NOt knowing what the fuck a california cobb is, I thought maybe there might be corn in it or something. Turns out there was no corn, but this stinking piece of chicken that smelled like it was transported from Indonesia by mule.

Anyways, before giving me my bottled water they asked if I'd prefer another beverage. Without missing a beat I asked if I could get a milkshake. They refused. One point for The Clown.

I then asked about what I could substitute it for, and they said soda or Hi-C.

Man, they were doing so good up until now. makes me wonder how many people are gonna get the chili salad and a coke and pat themselves on the back thinking they're Jack LaLanne.

Anyways, they forgot my pedometer so I have no idea how many steps I took today. Probably 14 if I had to guess.

Also, the container in which they put your salad in makes you look like a fucking asshole. I was marching back to work carrying the stupid thing while everyone starred at me. I felt like chucking it at them.

So there you have it. I was concerned that Mickey D's was maybe turn into a fairly decent place that isn't trying to kill everybody.

We can all relax. McDonald's will always fuck us. Jut like we're use to.

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