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Keith Richards in a coma, I know, I's serious

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For several decades we've watched NASA spend trillions of dollars to explore space and deliever the human race info on what goes on beyond our borders.

So what do we get for all this cash? Pictures of an alien village? Hardly. Mostly what we get is a piece of rock that somehow proves the big bang theory. Or a photo of some garbage planet that's not that exciting at all showing it has a ring arounds it. Been there! Or provoking the question on if Pluto's a moon, like anyone not working at NASA gives a shit.

I don't think I'm the first to proclaim that science is complete horseshit. I mean, sure it's cool when you mix it with fiction, but what has it done for me lately?

We're wasting all this money on rockets that can't even go to Mars. Can someone tell me why we even make a rocket if it can't reach the fucking planet right next door to you? These stupid fucking things just blast off like they're going places and end up floating around in space like a retard, then flying back like they meant to do that all along. Is it just me, or is this just one big fucking Mountain Dew commercial? There's so much money being wasted away when we could be spending it on things that actually matter to the human race. Namely hookers.

Just when you're about to write off science as a complete waste of brain activity, along comes the Asians people to show us that science can be, in fact, useful.

Behold EveR-1. The world's first female android.

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Above: Korean children test pimp-smacking EveR-1

According to a press statement
she can understand others, speak, blink with her eyes and makes several facial expressions.

OK, yeah, what else? Forgetting something? I mean, I'm no scientist but if I were gonna' make a robo-woman the first five things I'd boast about it being able to do wouldn't be "Speak". As a matter of fact I would guarantee it wouldn't speak at all. Ever.

Yeah, yeah, I know, every girl reading this is saying "typical guy". Well you know what? It doesn't matter what you think anymore. You're just been replaced. After liberating (part of) Korea from the dreaded communists they're returned the favor by liberating us from the other Red Army.

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"Me programmed to love you long time"

You're not ever to be known as females again, from here on forward you shall be know as females 1.0

Still don't understand, ok, I'll use pictures...

Here's you...

And here's the Fembots...

Again, you...

The new you...

We have to come to the realization that men and women (the old ones) aren't happy with each other.

I've done extensive video reseach and have concluded that women are overwhemingly turning to other women for companionship at an evergrowing steady rate, especially where slumber parties are involved.

Men, not having the same option because it's nasty, have been on the verge of panic wondering what we're going to replace them with once Operation: Universal Lesbianism is complete.

Up until now we'd have to pay a young lady (hooker) to basically act like an android. Now, with a price tag of only $4,670,000 an average man who would of normally settled on marriage will be saving a bundle over a lifetime.

Women, you wated to be in control of things, well here's your chance. Take the CEO seat, take the Senate, take the White's yours.We're gonna' go bang some robots, see you bitches la-ter!


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