Sorry I didn't update yesterday, my company gave us the day off to mourn the passing of Old Dirty Bastard, which I felt was kinda' weird seeing we didn't even have Veteran's Day off.

My friend John, astute fellow that he is, made the amazing observation that if fate had taken a different course, the Dirt Dogg could of had his life saved by none other than Diamond David Lee Roth
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Hey, did you hear about that guy that tried to set himself on fire outside the whitehouse?

Luckily for him he didn't succeed. He was surrounded by secret service men who extinguished the flames in seconds.

But how embarrassing is that? You're about to make this profound statement that will echo around the world...and then you fuck it up.

And worse, you end up in a hell of a lot of pain. How embarassing, I would just DIE!!
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The following is a poem written by Britney Spears.

I believe it to be the greatest piece of work the written word has ever produced in the history of mankind, or any other "kind" that may be existing out in the stars.

The name of this masterpiece is "Honeymoon Poem"

You are not worthy of it, but here it is anyways...

A honeymoon at last, to get away from it all
My assistant Fe gave me the call.

I remember it well, as she was smilin'
She said it was called Turtle Island.

I packed my bags light and quick,
Then grabbed my pink dress & favorite lipstick.

We hopped on a plane and took our flight
I slept really well, all through the night.

As we arrive, I turn and look out the door,
People are greeting us right at the shore.

A meal, a shower and some ice cream
Then I threw my man down, you know what I mean!

Magical nights filled with stars
Silence is golden, no running cars.

Private dinners, romantic fires
Little piece of heaven, whatever your heart desires.

Friendly "hellos" and never goodbyes
When you're having fun, oh, how time flies!

As we sit and prepare to make our part
I thank you, Turtle Island, with all my heart!

~ Britney
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So you're probably wondering what the hell am I doing on Britney Spear's website? That's none of your business, OK? I showed you a realy funny poem by her that you would of never known about if it wasn't for me. That should be enough. Why do you have to push the issue and ask questions like how I found it, like I'm some sort of sissy.
First, just because I was on Britney.com, or whatever the website is, I'm not really sure cause I'm not there that much doesn't mean I'm a sissy. I'm no sissy, OK? I own a sword. How many sissies you know own swords? None, know why? 'Cause I'm no sissy. I was just browsing around and somehow came upon Britney Spear's homepage which somehow was in my favorites list, probably put there by some prankster, then found a funny poem and shared it with you.

I was shaving my face with my sword the whole time I was checking out the site. Then I scratched my balls and burped, so I don't know who's a sissy here.

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