I have some absolutely incredible news I want to share with all of you.
But I'm not going to. Not now anyways. Mainly because I haven't shared the news with some of my friends yet, and if they find out by reading it online they'll whine at me and I cannot take whining.
So instead we'll discuss some things in the news with absolutely no hidden messages.
First up, how about that port deal crisis with the UAE? Critics claim that if Dubai DIDN'T PULL OUT it could lead to trouble leaving our ports with little or NO PROTECTION maybe eight or NINE MONTHS down the road. Oooh BABY could it ever.
Above: Dubai kid reacting to the realization that his people are pussies.
I don't know if anyone TOLD YOU, but the lead horse to win best picture at the Acadamey awards, Brokeback Mountain failed to capture the top prize. I'M NOT saying them losing had anything to do with it being a GAY cowboy movie, but let's just say Hollywood already has a HARD enough time not acting like a bunch of ultra-liberal DICKs. FOR what it's worth, many talented WOMEN and men were rightly praised, including Reese Witherspoon, Rachel Weisz, and George Clooney.
More news to follow, I have to Sam's club and buy 5 gallons of ice cream.