On Dr Laura
It may surprise you that I'm a huge, huge, huuuuuuuuge Dr Laura Shlopslinger(sp?) fan.
I think it's funny as hell seeing a middle age woman attempt to bring the woman's movement back to the 1840's.
Seriously. She has this radio show where all she does is take calls from stupid broads who ask for her help in their marriage and whatnot. She replies by screaming at these poor creatures, and blaming them for everything.
Your husband's humping the maid in front of the kids? Why don't you look past yourself and see the part you played in it. Do you think he'd be doing that if you were really making him happy? The question you should be asking is how can I start being a good wife, and stop driving my husband to cheat on me?
And it don't stop with AM radio. She had the fucking nerve to write a book, and folks, even I wouldn't write a book with this title, but Lord knows I'd love to, called "The 10 Stupid Things Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives"
I worked for a Borders when this book came out, and she did a signing there. The line for an autograph went on forever, filled with two different types of "Stupid" women.
The first were the new fans who haven't practiced her teaching too much. They practically had signs on their foreheads reading "Marry me, I'll let you cheat!"
The other type were taking no shit froma any man. I was working at the cafe, and they came over and gave me a hard time just to show that penis of mine they're not to be triffled with.
After she wrote that book, she pussed out and wrote another version of the book targeted towards men, and later couples.
I thought her PR people were craming the psycho side of her back into the closet.
That's why I was really excited when I heard she had a new book coming out called "The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands"
This is a good book for all you dumb bitches out there that just for the life of you can't properly care for, and more importantly feed us men.
I mean what are you, stupid? And if so haven't we covered that in the last Dr Laura book?
On this new treasure, Dr laura offers this...
"Years ago women were taught by their mothers that they needed to be wise and sensitive and "work" their men—they knew how to create and maintain a happy and well-functioning relationship using their so called "feminine wiles" in benevolent and mutually satisfying ways. Today, women have replaces these feminine wiles with disdain, hypersensitivity, criticism, bullying and nagging."
No shit! You fucking tell them Dr Laura! Preach on, sista'!
I hope this book teaches chicks how to make a good meatloaf because you just can't get a good meatloaf anymore.
So with Valentine's Day right around the corner, guys, I could think of a better gift.