Review of The Passion of Christ
Everywhere you go people are talking about The Passion of Christ. If you didn't know Mel Gibson made this movie, you would think it was Quentin Tarantino.
Remember the part of Reservoir Dogs when that guy gets tortured? Well the entire movie is kinda' like that. Seriously, at the moment when Pontius Pilate sentences him to be crucified you almost expect "Stuck in the Middle With You" to come on.
They literally get medeveil on his ass.
Anyways, the dumbest part of the movie is when Jesus is carrying the crucifix. It's a long scene where every five seconds one of the Roman guards will punch or kick him, and wild laughter will ensues.
And I'm not talking just an evil smirk, these guys are cracking up as if Dave Chappell is telling them jokes along the way.
Roman Guard- "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH .....HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Besides the fact that the movie is made by Mel "What The Hell" Gibson, I failed to find anything worthy of all the controversy that it's getting.
I mean, The Last Temptation of Christ, now THAT'S a controversal flick, man.
Even if you're not a Christian, this film finds someway to offend you.
Take for example, the role of Jesus played by Willem DaFoe.
You might remember Willem as Bob Crane's wackoff partner in "Auto Focus" or The Green Goblin in "Spiderman".
I don't care what religion, or lack thereof you may subscribe to. You have to be offended by that.
And if by some chance you aren't, they threw in Harvey Keitel to play the role of Judas, and Mick Jagger's most famous lay, David Bowie as Pontius Pilate, in this obvious attempt at a very endearing, pius movie.
Anyways, if you like the book, you'll like the movie. There were a couple of girls sitting next to me who looked as if they were generals in the Britney Spears Army that were totally bawling by the end of this film.
But since all of my readers are either neo-pagans, hethens, or not of age to see a rated-R movie, I'm afraid I can't recommend it.