Can I tell you how much I love whey protein?

A lot. A lot motherfuckers. A-LOT! Hear me?

What's whey protein you ask? It's that powdered drink you see sold in nutrition stores in those huge containers. The ones with some big bodybuilder guy flexing his muscles on the front.

See, I didn't really need it for that. I'm already a whopping 160 lbs of pure muscle. But it turns out there are other benefits to whey then just bulking up.

First, it helps you lose weight. I had a half ounce of fat on me before I started taking this, and after a few shakes I was able to get rid of it.

It prevents cancer. Now, I didn't have cancer before, but after a few months of taking whey, I'm happy to say I'm completely cancer free.

I also don't have syphilis.

It makes you look fucking cool! Not really drinking the stuff, but when someone comes over and sees that huge tub in you're kitchen they assume you're a serious fucking workout guy.

It makes you sleep less. I find that after I drink whey, I have a much easier time getting up in the morn. This is good because I have a lot of important things I have to do that I didn't have time before I started drinking whey. Like drink more whey.

I find that whenever anyone comes to me with a conflict, I usually recommend whey as the answer.

I got a big ass tub of whey for my mom on mothers day. She seemed to like it, but that's my mom. I could have gotten her a crack pipe and she would have liked that too. Whey's a lot heathlier for her though.

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I know I dropped this website on you before, I just want to make sure each and every one of you have seen it.

I cannot stop being creeped out by this. I mean, the part where Robert Plant tells me how Satan will give me, give me 666.....and then the toolshed. Jesus!!!

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