How I deal with stress.
I'm too stressed for words.
My parents are divorcing, my brother's getting married, I'm not speaking with my father, I have 2 weeks to find a new place to live, I have a stag party that I'm trying to set up, and my stress-free job has turned into a concentration camp lately. They decided to add a hundred new rules with zero tolerance for error.
For instance, when you are talking to a customer on the phone, they monitor it. There are 9 areas that you have to cover. One of them is verifying their account.
And when I say verify, I MEAN VERIFY.
I have to verify their name, company name, physical address, mailing address, phone number, fax number, e-mail address, what type of company they are, whether it's a headquarters or branch location, how many employees are at their location, their blood type, and what they thought of the movie "Panic Room."
Forget to confirm that they have X amount of employees at their location and you've failed.
So I'm put in a position of either pissing off the customer, or pissing off my boss.
Now I'm a pretty smart guy, I know what wars can't be won, is this is one of them. It's time for me to leave this place.
And in a small way it almost seems like they've started up this new policy when I'm at my weakest. Usually I can state my case to somebody, that it's probably not in the company's best interest to annoy every single customer that calls with our bullshit.
But right now I could give a shit.
If they want to turn this place, and my job, into one big info gathering corporation, rather than helping a customer with their technical problem for which they called for, then fuck them.
Gimme some burgers to flip.
I just got an e-mail stating the following...
Subject: Monitoring score F (Yes, they give you an F even though it's pass or fail)
Jon, you did not address the custom by their name. You called them sir.
What is the matter with you? Do you not like your job? You've been failing a lot lately.
Pat.
Here's the e-mail I would of sent "Pat" if I had the nuts to.
Dear "Pat"
Well "Pat", (notice I didn't say ma'am) sorry I didn't address the customer by their name. I'm sure I needn't explain that it was a direct order from the Satanic Church that I attend. We're always coming up with great ways to promote chaos. Since the cat is out of the bag, I guess it's OK to say that the idea to address the customer as "sir" instead of his first name, came to me somewhere between verifying his account info, and asking how he heard of our company.
I thought that pulling such a stunt would not only bankrupt the company, but would be one giant step closer to putting the dark Prince on the throne of the world.
But to answer your question, no I do not like my job, and want to punish you specifically for it.
Hail Satan.
-Jonathan.
Comments?
