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Tommy, can you hear me? Good. Don't tell your parents.

Man, what are we gonna' do with that Pete Townshend?

Looking at kiddie porn for research?

He's writing a book?

What the fuck kind of book is he writing?

Sicko. And if anyone is surprised by this behavior, I ask that you take a close read to the lyrics of Pete's song "Rough Boys" that I painstakingly took the liberty to produce for you...

Tough boys

Running the streets

Come a little closer

Rough toys

Under the sheets

Nobody knows here

Rough boys

Come over here

I wanna bite and kiss you

I wanna see what I can find

Tough kids

Take a bottle of wine

When your deal is broken

Ten quid

She's so easy to blind

Not a word is spoken

Rough boys

Don't walk away

I'm still pretty blissed here

Tough boys

I'm gonna carry you home

You got pretty pissed dear

Gonna get inside you

Gonna get inside your bitter mind

Rough boys

Don't walk away

I wanna buy your leather

Make noise

Try and talk me away

We can't be seen together

Tough kids

What can I do?

I'm so pale and weedy

Rough fits

In my Hush Puppy shoes

But I'm still pleadin

Tough boys

Running the streets

Come a little closer

Rough toys

Under the sheets

Nobody knows her

Rough boys

Come over here

I wanna bite and kiss you

I wanna see what I can find

Hmmm, given a closer look you're oblidged to believe that the song is not about a high school football match as previously thought.

Nope. It's more like the NAMBLA National Anthem.

See, the problem was that we were so hung up on waiting for Michael Jackson to get caught doing something like this, that we totally overlooked Pete Townshend.

The guy has been dropping hints for years!

YEARS!!!!

Just look at the songs he's written...

"The Kids Are Alright"

Yeah, I bet they were....

"Tommy"

That deaf, dumb, blind kid- Sure gives a mean handjob.

"Magic Bus"

All aboard to Pete's Palace of Pleasure!

"Who Are You"

I'm an underage, naked boy on the internet.

"Pinball Wizard"

Ball? As in testicle?

"I'm A Boy"

Good God!

"I Can See For Miles"

He means naked boys from miles away on the internet.

"I Can't Explain"

Is what he was planning on telling the police when he got caught.

"Happy Jack"

OY Vey! Don't even make me interpret this one.

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Also in the news.....

From the "isn't that ironic" section.

Maurice Gibbons, bass player/keyboardist for the band, The Bee Gees. Most famous for the song "Staying Alive".......is dead.

Maurice is the one on the right showing off his booty.

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My friend Sean announced that he was going on a cruise.

I asked him when he was coming back. He said "Martin Luther King's day" to which I replied...BACK IN BLACK!!!!

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