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The Story of Chucky Bills

Chucky Bills is a legend in these here parts.

As human as you or I, yet his skin is substituted for Land o' Lakes butter.

How, being born with such a defect might leed one into a life of self pity, brave Chucky Bills overcomes his challenges in life, and turned them into his advantage.

He was born in France in 1852.

In a time when the local Huguenots awaited the birth of a "dairy child" as a sign that they need not eat any more snails, and cover up the disgusting act by giving it a fancy-shmancy name.

When "Butter Baby" was born, he caused quite a stir among the local religious figures. But the hope quickly died when they realized the butter his skin was made from was of the "unworthy" Land O' Lakes brand.

Chucky spent his earlier days being a loner. He chose to spend most of his time with cows, rather than other little boys.

Dropped out of school in the 3rd grade, he was forced to go to work to help support his family. He worked at a local bakery, his job was to rub himself all over cookie sheets and pans.

T'wasn't long before the local villagers noticed a tastey difference in their bakery goods that were baked on a pan greased by Chucky Bills.

As every young child has a special talent, Chucky's was hardly something that would be seen as impressive by his peers.

After receiving several threats made by school bullies, warning how they'd like to smother him with warm mashed potatoes, Chucky decided it would be best to leave France altogether.

With no destination, he laid his body onto the mighty Atlantic, and drfted aimlessly. Eating seaweed, and the occational fowl that came within reach. Chucky stayed in the ocean for years. His only witness to humanity was spotting the rare sea vessel. He noticed as they changed through the years with technology advancments. First seeing large sail ships used to bridge the old world and the new, to motor ships that were designed for speed and needing no dependency on the unpredictable wind, to mighty war ships and submarines used for destruction and whatnot.

It seemed civilization was taking a turn for the worse, judging by what he saw in the open ocean. Chucky dreaded what might become of him if he returned to his people. He imagined other people who were born different, like himself, being treated cruely and used for the amusment by the masses.

But then he thought that he could just tell people that he wasn't French.


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