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God on Israel; "Get off my lawn!"

Anybody that lends even a brief moment of attention to the media of their choice knows that we're living in a time of chaos.

Everyone's flipping out about this, that, and the other thing. Blaming Arabs, or Jews, or Iraq, or America, or whatever. All the turmoil these days comes down to one small country in the middle east the size of New jersey called Israel.

Two things are going to come about from the conflict there. It's either gonna' get resolved to everyone's satisfaction, or it's going to cause World War III.

Now at the risk of ruining some potentially amazing CNN programing, allow me to take a crack at resolving this fucking horseshit.

First, no matter what side you sympathize with, you have to concede the fact that the situation is total bullshit.

There are a lot of optimists on both sides that think they can reach an agreement one day, and they'll live side by side on my piano. (Keyboard, oh Lord. Why don't we?????)

Anybody that's gonna' believe that monkeyshit, I'd like to sell a car to. The crisis in Israel will never get resolved simply because the Israelis and Palestinians both take their orders from God, who seems to have made the land sacred to them both.

Which is the basis for my peace plan. Something I've titled "Project Get-The-Fuck-Out".

Project Get-The-Fuck-Out is the smartest proposition yet, basically because I'm the smartest guy to offer a plan. How it works is simple. If everyone agrees that Israel is sacred land, everyone needs to treat it as such and "Get The Fuck Out!"

Seriously. It's suppose to be the holy land. All they do over there is blow shit up. I say, fuck that! It's like if you had two kids fighting over the same toy, you take it away from them both until they can play nicely.

What I propose is that the Islamic Palestinians relocate to various Middle Eastern countries, and the Jews will relocate to the U.S. and Canada. The Christians will have to move too, just because.

Israel will be transformed into a religious Holyland (if you will) where you can visit all you want. You just can't live there.

Problem solved. It's about time we started treating ourselves like the immature children we really are. And Project GTFO is the way.


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