Genghis Jon Interviews Your Punk (Diaryland Survivor 4) Ass! Episode 2, Featuring Loud Woman
As you may or may not know, I'm doing the exit interviews for Diaryland Survivor. Victim number duex comes in the form of Loud Woman. What's so loud about this woman you ask? Well, I don't know. I guess you'd have to ask her husband. But that's neither here nor there. What is infact, here and there is that she was voted out of the game by the other contestants. And I for one want to see what she has to say for herself. Let's see what her deal is, shall we?
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Genghis Jon- LoudWoman, you're the second person voted off. That's not very good.
Loud Woman-It's not so bad!� No more homework and I only have to read diaries that rock now.� :THUMBSUP:
Genghis Jon- Do you blame our capitalistic government, or the religous right for your ousting?
Loud Woman-I blame namby pamby, mutual admiration societies and folks afraid of scarey women who don't give a shit about what people think. I also blame crazy "Write in everyone's diary' Jenna for putting a curse.� And I blame my powerful writing skills for making me a worthy adversary.
Genghis Jon- In your Immunity Challenge #2 you laid on some gloomy, miserable shit....
Loud Woman-Do you really think so?� I thought my God was straightforward and empowering.� He/she basically said you have the raw material for making a good life. Don't fuck it up by being too scared to see the whole picture. I guess one man's floor is another man's ceiling.
Genghis Jon-Do you think the fact that you got all political and preachy contributed to the fact that people couldn't take another moment sharing the virtual island with you?
Loud Woman-That and my using the cooking pot as a bidet.� Wait, I forgot to tell them that.� Guys., that ain't natural flavoring in the fish.
Genghis Jon-Do you think they might have been afraid you'd start handing out leaflets?
Loud Woman-Whatever, Ghengis Dong. What do you think it was? Magpie's was cutest and cleverest and July's had pictures.� How can you compete w/cute, clever and pictures?
Genghis Jon-Personally I would of voted you off on Immunity Challenge #1 when you wrote "I hate Christmas". You hate Christmas? What are you, some sort of commie?
Loud Woman-Dad was Jewish, not everyone celebrates Christmas, Bubala. You need to get out more.
Genghis Jon-It's a fact that the only people who hate Christmas are the Taliban, folks that mail anthrax, and mad snipers.
Loud Woman-I don't like forced celebration. I move to my own internal clock. The Grinch didn't like Christmas either and he was much sexxxier before his brainwashing by those evil Whos.
Genghis Jon-Man, who let's these people play this game? Hasn't Diaryland Survivor ever heard of background checks? Anyways, my question is why are you a satanist?
Loud Woman-Huh? I probably wouldn't like satanic rituals either. I'm not a big fan of people telling me what to do. I'm more the Ted Kazyinsky, hide in a shack, loner type.� I do like air conditioning however.�
Genghis Jon-Did you think Bob Crane's penis would bring you luck in the game?
Loud Woman-It didn't bring him much luck, did it?�
Genghis Jon-It sucks you got thrown out. Maybe you'd like to try out for the new "Diaryland Big Brother" that I'm starting. It's much simpler. This is how it'll work. The contestants will actually live in my house. The immunity challenges will be things like "paint my bedroom" and "fold my laundry." Only people that call the Department of Labor will be ousted. Interested?
Loud Woman-Maybe.� Do you have cable?
Genghis Jon-Do you watch the TV Show Survivor, or do you have a sex life?
Loud Woman-Yes I watch and I'm married, so you can take the sexxx life as a yes or no.
Genghis Jon-As someone that watches a whole lot of Survivor, I can tell you the game would be a lot better if they had winged-monkeys on the island trying to kill the contestants by stabbing them with swordfish. What do you think would of made Diaryland Survivor better?
Loud Woman-Duh, if I won.� It was fine.� It was fun.�
Genghis Jon-Is their anything you regret, or would do differently?
Loud Woman-No.� As Popeye says, 'I yam what I yam.'
Genghis Jon-Thanks for doing the interview, and sorry things didn't work out in your favor. What's your prediction on who's gonna' take this game?
Loud Woman-Ms M is the best writer. Funny, quick, irrelevant. Raw is ok too.�
One of my internet friends likes Angeline because she had those pictures up that made her look like she has a nice rack.�
Ms M and Matt were the only two that made me laugh when I was skimming their diaries at first and I like to laugh.
The others, too many words.� You don't need to write so verbosely.� You ain't Proust.� And paragraph breaks, people!
I voted for Gingerbug both times because she seemed to lack whimsey.� Her diary design made my head hurt too, all that orange.
One more thing and I'm off like a prom dress.� My fellow contestants can take this as constructive critism or sour grapes from an old bitch.
Folks who include 'a cast of characters' description or *diaryland member's name*101 should be poked w/a poking stick.
A) If people can't grasp who you are and what you are about in 2 or 3 entries, you aren't a good writer and
B)NO ONE GIVES THAT MUCH OF A FUCK ABOUT YOU!
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Well there you have it folks. Advice on how to play the game from the second person to get knocked off. Kinda' like Madonna giving advice on how to make a hit movie. Anyways, things are starting to heat up here kids. Before long I expect every damn contestant to turn as pissy as............well. Me. Stay f'ing tuned....
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