Letter I Wrote To Motel 6
The following is a letter I wrote to Motel 6 corporate office.
Now, a lot of you are gonna' harp on me for being mean, but trust me, they deserve this.
Their motels are owned by the French, and this is my way of fighting for my country.
If you like this, there are a few more hidden in the olders section.
You find 'em.
Anyways, here's a letter I wrote to Motel 6.
I'd like to congratulate you on your success of running the biggest piece of shit motel chain in the history of motels, or chains for that matter.
How you are able to go above and beyond the laws of suckiness is not even comprehendible by my mortal brain!
You really should write a book....you lousy pieces of panda shit!
Case in point. Exactly three months ago I had the mispleasure of staying at one of your motels in Phoenix.
When entering my room, I was greeted by two fat, ugly, cleaning staff members engaged in an act of oral sex.
One stood there and had the NERVE to say "Welcome to Motel 6" as if this was some SORT OF JOKE!!!
The other asked if I cared for a towel. Or I think that's what she said, her mouth was kinda' occupied IF YOU KNOW WHAT I FUCKING MEAN!!!!
Eight weeks later I reluctantly agreed to stay at a Motel 6 in Lincoln, Nebraska where the company I work for had already booked me there.
I figured I'd give you the benefit of the doubt by assuming that the sincere lack of professionalism found at your Phoenix location might only be an exception to your grade of service.
And it was.
I would much prefer to enter my room to be greeted by a couple of cleaning people having oral sex, then having to see a two and a half foot pile of steaming hot shit that was perfectly shaped in the form of one of the Egyptian pyramids, lying smack in the middle of the bed I just paid $73.00 to sleep in.
I'm sure you'll find this funny. I hope you get a big fucking kick out of the way I have been inconvenienced into checking in not one, but two times- only to have to check out moments later due to terrible, and mind shattering distress.
Please take note that I travel 260 days a year. That's a lot of motels. You can be sure none of them will be Motel 6's in the future, FUCKFACE!
Sincerly, Martin Padilla
"Dear Mr Padilla
Let me start off by expressing to you how upset I am at your experience you've had with our motels.
Reading your story I was first struck with disgust, then overwhelming anger at the treatment you've received from our staff.
I can assure you that none of the feelings I, or any of my colleagues who have read this have felt was anything near humor.
We take these cases very seriously, and wish to conduct a thorough investigation into both incidents.
Because both cities you've mentioned have multiple locations, we do require more info from you to find out exactly where these incidents have taken place to be sure they never happen again to anyone.
As far as what happened to you, I imagine "sorry" wouldn't suffice.
I am horrified, and can only imagine how you feel.
It is my utmost wish to rectify our company's status with you.
Below you'll find my direct phone number. I have put your name on a list of people my secretary is instructed to put through to me without delay.
I look forward to apologizing to you over the phone, and offering some perks where we can hopefully get another chance to prove we're the best motel franchise in the business.
Thomas W. Conte
'We'll Leave The Light On For You.'"