Letter to Pfizer Inc, makers of Viagra.
TO:
William C Steere Jr., CEO
Pfizer, Inc.
235 East 42nd Street
New York, NY 10017-5755
FROM:
Pete Funk
Newington, CT 06111 [email protected]
RE: Viagra
Dear Mr. Steere,
I wanted to take a quick moment to compliment you on your wonderful product, Viagra.
Being diagnosed a few years back with Erectile dysfunction (ED) I felt a lot of different feelings.
Empty, alone, sad, unmanly, soft, puny....
Sadly, I thought that this was something I was going to have to live with for the rest of my life.
I knew this would be tough not only for me, but for my wife Ginger as well.
Ginger is 15 years my junior and a former lap dancer.
Needless to say, she's only with me for my money.
Since her sex drive is through the roof, not poking her with a hard boner on a regular basis will surely lead us to divorce court.
But then I saw your ad on the television with former senator, a republican nominee for president in the 1996 election, Bob Dole. (The one where he's playing with the dog, I believe...)
Hearing Mr. Dole put a human face to my problem, made me feel less alone.
I still felt soft and puny however, so I picked up the phone and made the call that changed my life.
Now I'm enjoying an active sex life that I haven't had since I was ten!
I'm happy to say that Ginger is now a worn out, loose old lady that wished she'd never of set eyes on me.
I've poked so many new holes in her, she's even too tired to spend my money!
Yeehaw!
Anyways, I just wanted to say Oh God....you're the best....you're the king......Ohhhhhhhh Godddddddd.....
Sincerely,
Mr. Pete Funk
Newington, Ct 06111
Ps
You can count on my business in the future. You can bet your bottom dollar that I'll spread the word about you.
Thanks for your time. I look forward to hearing back from you.
***Their reply
Dear Mr. Funk.
What an absolutely hysterical letter!
Thank you so much for the laughs.
As to your letter, we are thrilled to hear that Viagra has worked for you. We at Pfizer get letters all the time from people just like you thanking us for changing their lives for the better. I can tell you that it warms my heart to know that we are making such a positive impact on relationships from all over.
For everyone here at Pfizer Inc., I thank you for taking the time to write to us. From time to time I hang letters up in my office for fellow employees to see what a great job they are doing.
Your letter will be sure to be posted.
With warm wishes,
-William C Steere Jr., CEO
-Pfizer, Inc.
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