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Rita...messing with Texas

Above: Making light of a very serious situation by mocking the deadly hurricane with a comicbook type wrestler. Very funny, Jon.

Texas use to boast the slogan “Don’t Mess with Texas.”

Above: Amy Ryan. Texan. Representing the face of courage to any that would dare confront her beloved state. Now located in Utah hiding under bed.

Then a rainstorm named Rita came along and about a billion Texans ran like pussies.

As Americans we pride ourselves that we’re tough, and nothing like the French. The French we would expect to run like a pack of wild turkeys upon the first mention of a hurricane. I mean from my understanding all you need to do is say “hurricane” to a Frenchman and he’ll put on his running shoes.

But Americans? Since when do we flee from danger? Our president is always going on about how Americans stand up in the face of terror and so on and so forth, and then Texas, undoubtedly the most macho of all states, goes absolutely bananas over some bad weather.

Yes, I know this hurricane is deadly but so what? What would you rather die of, butthole cancer or a hurricane?

And just think of the message we’d send to the terrorists if not one person fled from the hurricane. They’d think we’re fucking psycho and shouldn’t be fucked with, that’s what they’d think. They’d think we’d got balls the size of church bells.

And why are we so quick to think that we’d lose to the hurricane. Why haven’t one person even thought about fighting it.

“But Genghis Jon, you can’t fight the weather.” Well why the fuck not? You can fight cancer and bad breathe but not a hurricane? I don’t believe that for a second, not one fucking second.

How about we build a giant fucking ramp so when it reaches the cost the hurricane leaps right over Texas and blows off harmlessly into Mexico.

Or how about we damn up the Gulf of Mexico so that when a hurricane is starting up we can flow all the water out of it? How easy would that be?

Or at the very least why don’t we nuke the fucker? The nuclear waves will evaporate all the water, in effect turning Hurricane Rita into a tiny windstorm while blowing refreshing warm air during these early days of Fall, saving us money on heating costs.

Whatever happened to “America; These Colors Don’t Run”? Texas, you’re gonna’ tell me you’re afraid of Rita? You’re afraid of a little girl? Stand and fight! Remember the Alamo! What would happen if Davey Crocket loaded up his SUV and drove to Oklahoma when he heard there was Mexicans coming?

Remember the Alamo, indeed. I could imagine John Wayne is doing fucking backflips in his grave.


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