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Genghis Job

I recall just a few years ago when the job market was booming.

Companies would spend big advertising dollars on TV/radio ads just letting you know that they were hiring, and why they're so great to work for.

I remember one ad on the radio where they really drove home the fact that they were a "laid back company to work for." Meaning slackers welcome. Just come in and warm the seat.

Allow me to give you all a glimpse into how much shit has changed.

As most of you know, we're not enjoying the job market we once were. Therefore the humble company willing to consider just about any underqualified idiot to fill their positions, have given way to a practice called job testing.

How things use to work is that you'd send a prospective employer your resume, they'd look it over to see if you're qualified, if so they'd call you in for an interview.

Getting in between the resume, and the interview is the job testing.

Companies are spending and incredible amount of time and effort to see if you're good enough to sit down and have a chat with.

I spent FIVE HOURS of my precious life going through their intellectual obsticle course yesterday.

Mind you, not to get the job......just to get an interview for the job.

Here's how it worked. A bunch of us show up in the morning. Maybe twenty. There are five tests in all and we do them together, one at a time. After the test we go back to the waiting room and wait for the results. If you pass the test, you move on to the next. If not, they ask you to leave right there in front of everybody.

"Sorry, you're the weakest link. Goodbye."

Seriously, it was like a fucking reality show. By the last test there was only me and one other extremely nervous person.

Before we took test five, we went into a room with a guy with a tie who had a job, and was briefed about what happens here.

Which I was kinda' excited about seeing the amount of bullshit I was already subjected to. I'd really like to know where this little ride was going.

He said that we would not get the results for this test today. We'd get a phone call sometime this month. If we passed we would be considered for an interview which would take place at the beginning of May. After that, everyone who passed the interview would (again!) be considered for the position we're applying for.

I was kinda' getting a little annoyed with the ass fucking at this point and said "Excuse me, so what you're saying is that even if we pass ALL the tests today, AND get chosen to have an interview, AND have it be a successful one at that. Even if all these happen, we still won't be sure we get the job, is that correct?"

And as if I was asking him if ice cream tastes good, he says as matter of factly as possible "Yes, that's correct."

And so I go in and take this test for this stupid sales job. How this last one worked was they hired an outside company to call us as if they were a customer, and we had to try to sell shit to them. I could only imagine how much money they were spending to get to the point where I could meet someone for fifteen minutes who could actually hire me.

So I take the test and go home. Totally fed up, but mostly possitive I don't want to work for a company that's so fucking retarded.

Anyways, they call me today and tell me I passed. Just for shits they told me I was the only one out of everybody that showed up yesterday that passed, and will be considered for an interview that may lead to me being considered for employment at their company.

I thanked him for being so considerate.

He said that if I was chosen for an interview, I'll get a call "sometime".

I assured him I'll be waiting by the phone. Fucking asshole, i hope everybody who works for that shitty company gets the runs and dies.

two minutes after I got off the phone with him, another company that I applied for called and said I was welcome to come down at the end of this month for their employment testing.

This place, however, has a pension plan. Things are looking up a little bit.

Of course, after I take one of these jobs the economy will pick up once again and I'll be working along side dudes three days out of rehab.


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