Toothbrush is a NIPPLE!!!!!!!
Ok, you guys are going to FUCKING love this. Oh, yeah. Everytime I think I'm no longer a target for people's personal aggression....THEY PULL ME BACK IN!!!!!!!
Enter This nipple!
OK, to best straighten out her asinine attempt of figuring my out my intent, the following is the email I sent to her in responce to her entry.
WHO, WHOA, WHOA!!!!! What the Hell's going on? Listen, here's the deal. What lead me too your diary was yes, Ammonite's entry about her husband, blah, blah... Before that I have heard much praises from my boy TV Zero about you. From that I thought I'd be adorable and drop ya a compliment about what a "hot chic" you are that's been going around diaryland. I was expecting more of a responce like "Aw, that's so nice of him to say" or "thank you" An entire entry about how that makes me an "ass" wasn't on the top 500 I was expecting. If you thought I was really after a picture of you, believe me, I would have found one by my own accord if that was my purpose.
Sadly it wasn't. You've stopped by my guestbook a few times and said some nice things, and I thought I'd sign yours with something that might make you giggle. You wrote "I always thought I was being fairly obvious about where my website is" Um, yeah. I've had a link to your website for several months now posted on mine. I thought we were buds. Great investigative work there, champ. I do appologize if you took such words as......TRAMATIC!!!!! But I think you might have gone a tad overboard on this, hmmm, don't cha' think??? Please do yourself a favor and settle down a little, while getting over your magnificent self A LOT!
Genghis FUCKING Jon PS The "Alpha-Male" bit was something I invented called sarcasm. Due to hit Canada anytime soon, so you guys look out for it!!!!!!
Now after writing such endearing words, you'd think she'd see the light and ask for forgivness, right??? Well no, this is what I received in reply....
Yes, I have left you little guestbook message in the past and I had never heard from you before which is probably why I was slightly miffed that the first thing you want to know about is what I look like. Does it matter really? I didn't realize your boy TV Zero was singing praises about me. I didn't really note that Jonathan was "your boy", actually. Alright, I guess that was some form of an apology. I don't want to give you the impression that I was that angry or offended or suffering under anything that traumatic. I assure you; it wasn't that big a deal. (Quote-"Somehow, I just don't like the idea of going out of my way to show him something that he was obviously too ignorant to notice in the first place.") I just felt like collecting all of these facts into a little something that would make me feel a little better for having you (inadvertently) making me feel like a piece of meat.That was really my only "beef" with the whole situation. Pardon the pun. (You do have puns down there in America, don't you?)Anyway, thanks for finally saying hi. Hi. Maybe we should call a truce or something.
Call a truce? Naw, I'd rather just call you a nipple.
NIPPLE, NIPPLE, NIPPLE!!!!!
Like I know I'm a magnet for people's own personal problems and whatnot, but please. Don't take your ego issues out on me. See a Gawdamn' shrink if you feel so shitty about yourself that you have to tear apart a term of endearment and make it seem like I took your luch money or something. If you're too sensative to play the game, get out of the ballpark.
Like I said before, I could give a flying fuck what you look like. It was a friendly "hi" what I was offering that a common grade schooler could interpret. If I wanted pictures honey...get real, it's the internet. I'd be fine without seeing yours, thankyouverymuch.
Sorry if I'm being rash, dear. Maybe I should be the better human and accept your "some form of an apology." Maybe I would have if you got your shit straight before you attempted to rip me a new A-Hole. But because you wanna' act like a flopper, I'll treat you like one.