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First off, my Mongoloid section (at the bottom of the page) Is lacking one more diary to make it even. So if your diary begins with A-E and you want in, holla' at me!

So at risk of losing all my female 14 year old readers, that make up about 85% of my readers, I need to confess.

I have a girlfriend.

Now, settle down gang, life goes on!

I met her from some lady at work.

I've never been on a blind date in my life, and wasn't about to start.

She gave me her number and it just sat on my dresser for weeks.

Sandy, the lady who was trying to fix this up, kept getting more restless the moer time that went on.

She told me once "Jon, it's been 3 weeks and you haven't called her. You're blowing it. She's gorgeous, you'd better call her or I'm gonna' set her up with my son."

"You're not setting her up with anyone, be quiet."

"I'm serious, give me her number back."


"Then CALL HER!"

"I will, I'm just busy."

That was a lie. I had no plans to call her, but kept the number just in case I changed my mind.

One day I woke up late for work and just decided to stay home. For some strange reason, I figured out a while ago that corporate America would rather have you take the whole day off than show up 5 minutes late. So that's exactly what I did.

About noon, I got an email from Amy that read..

"Holy hotness, Batman!

GJ, Amber came by today. I got to meet her and she is fucking hot!

If you don't call her, I will! She was really dissapointed that you weren't here. Stop being a dick and call her!"

Aw man, see I don't work anywhere near where she lives, so I know she drove a long way to meet me. I felt like shit.

The next day when I walked into work, it was like walking through a gauntlet of shame. People on either side of the halls were saying as I walked by "Jon, Sandy's friend Amber came by." and "Where the hell were you yesterday?"

I felt like a guy wearing a swaztika to a synagogue.

Anyways, I got right on the phone and called Amber.

"Hello?" She answers.

"Hi, this is Jon. You probably think I'm an ass."

"Yeah a little bit."

Damn, the girl's got sas. I like that.

Anyways, we talk for a bit and she ends the call by saying "I just want you to know that I keep my life seperate from my son's. So don't expectto meet him.

"Sure, that's no problem." I say, as we hang up and I run over to Sandy.

"Sandy! She has a kid? She has a kid and you didn't tell me?"

"Oh, I guess I forgot."

"What the..."

"Why does it matter?"

Does it matter.

I don't know, does it? I'm asking the other single guys out there. Does it matter to you that a girl you're dating comes with a kid?

I don't hate kids, but, c'mon. You gotta be ready for them. I was smart enough to know that if things works out between me and the girl that I'm gonna' be a sort of a step dad.

Just imagine if your mom was single, and she brought home a handjob like me. Crriiiiiiiipppppes!

To be continued......


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