The First Annual Mr/Ms Genghis Jon Contest Extravaganza!
Because I'm such a fan of the hit TV show "Am I Hot?", I decided to have my own version of the game right here on my diary.
Below are five of my friends. Each dreams of becoming Mr/Ms Genghis Jon 2003.
To the right you can judge who you think is the hottest.
And to any readers that have a dial up connection, I suggest you go for a walk or something.
THE CONTENDERS FOR MS GENGHIS JON 2003
Contestant number one is Chris. Chris is currently is school to become a nurse. When asked if she would like to practice giving a sponge bath on me, she replied "Piss off, Jon."
On her free time she likes asking over and over if you're mad at her, and going to strip clubs.
Chris says she'd like to be voted Ms Genghis Jon 2003 because she thinks my readers are "sexy". She also wanted to add that she's not just saying that to get your votes. She's really hot for all of you!!
Definately a contender. Good luck Chris!
Next, the "Fruit" to Chris's "Loop", Cheryl.
It's pointless to address Cheryl's career because she'll have a new one by the time I'm done writing this sentence. Cheryl lives in the lovely state of Connecticut, which she playfully has nicknamed "Hell Jr"
On her free time she likes to talk about her horrible ex-boyfriends, and make new ones.
When asked why she wants to win Ms Genghis Jon 2003 she says "I don't! You never asked if I even wanted to be in the stupid thing! You just included me without my consent."
What sass, ey judges?
Next we have Leslie.
Leslie works at one of the crunchy, hippie stores. The kind that sells crap like bacon cheese burgers made out of oats and tofu.
On her free time she likes to tell her lawn how special he is to her. She also knows the birthday for every tree in her neighborhood, and will throw a party for each of them when the time comes around.
She suspiciously declined my request to inspect her legs for hair.
When asked what she would do if she was crowned 'Ms Genghis Jon 2003' she paused for a moment and asked if I had any weed.
Truly a gem, this one.
NOW THE CONTENDERS FOR MR GENGHIS JON 2003
First up we have Studly Sean.
For a living Sean runs a recording studio.
Sean spends most of his days dreaming back to when he was lead singer/bass player to the locally sucessful band, S0nic Plague. Mostly about the times where he'd get blow job, after blow job from anonymous women he'd never see again.
On his free time, Sean tries to get the band back together.
When he's not doing that, he also likes to come over to people's house when they're asleep, go in their refrigerator, cook himself a steak, and then leave as if nothing ever happened.
If elected 'Mr Genghis Jon 2003' he says that he wouldn't need to masturbate so much.
Genghis is about to drop the funk on yo' cracker asses with the nomination of Kadrel.
Also known as 'The Afirmative Action Canadate', Kadrel works at an NBC affiliate doing God knows what.
Kadrel is most famous for leaving depressing, suicidal messages on one's answering machine, with Tears For Fears "Head Over Heals" blasting in the background.
When asked what being 'Mr Genghis Jon 2003' means to him, he said "Tell them white bitches that read your diary to write Kadrel! I want to love them. Once they go black, they ain't NEVAH' going back!"
No they won't, k!
And last but certainly not least, we have Genghis Jon's number one stereotypical friend, Ping Pong in the mother fuckin' howwwwse!
Many of you may remember Ping Pong from my past entries when I turned the diary over to him during a nasty case of writers block. As luck would have it, I received several complaints during that time over what my little buddy was writing. Most notably him claiming to be "Genghis Jon dipped in soy sauce."
For work, Ping Pong plays bass guitar in Rod Stewart's band.
He's been deported, and snuck back into this country so many times it's not even funny.
When he's not in and out of the US, he like dry hump various girl's legs at dance clubs. His favorite pick up lie is that he invented the karaoke.
Ping Pong says that he wants to win 'Mr Genghis Jon 2003' because he thinks it will keep him stay in the country.
Good luck to all contestants!