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Genghis Jon Vs The Birdman, Thing....(A True Story)

I hit a fucking bird on the way to work. I'm guessing that ain't the best karma. (Car-ma, geddit'???)

Not that I believe in karma, but superstitious myths tend to come true in my case.

When it involves screwing Jon, the universe is limitless.

Case in point.

Now, I'm about to share with you something that I hardly share with anyone. Even some of my closest friends don't know this story.

Reason why? Because if somebody told it to me I'd write it off as bullshit in about 2 seconds.

I'm very sceptical when it comes to "boogieman" stories. Most ghost stories I hear, whether from TV, or from a friend, it's just bullshit. Plain and simple some fool using their imagination, and trying to sell it as fact.

And the harder they try to sell it, the more certain you can be that it's hogwash.

I have had one or two of these type of stories that's convinced me that the teller, at least, believes what's happened.

One of which is from my father, far more sceptical than I, who's told me about a near death experience he had when he was 16 and got shot. (Long story that one, I'll pen that tale sometime....)

But as for me, my brush with the macabe goes like this...

About 4 or 5 years ago I was living in the northwest corner of Connecticut, in a charming town called Wisted. Charming, due to the fact that you'd swore you were down south. This town is redneck central. Didn't think we had them here in New England, ey? Wrong. Walking around town, you'd think everyone was a product of an incestuous union. And as you and I know, two cousins having sex produces what we call a republican. Lots of these "Republicans" types in Winsted. The irony to the whole thing is that Winsted is where far, far, far, left wing champion, Ralph Nader was sprouted, and still resides to this day.

So on with the spook story.

I moved to the white trash mecca after my roomate and I parted ways, so he could persue a living arangment with his girlfriend.

My uncle Dougie was kind enough to offer me his cabin that he had sitting on 30 acres of land that he owns. I was thrilled about shaking up there for awhile. The place was awesome. It was a one room cabin, with a loft for sleeping.

I was raised in the city, and had spent most of my life urbanized, so I was ready for a change of scenery for a couple of months.

The thing about the cabin though, is you're FAR away from anything. I'm not use to that. If you had no food in the house, and it's after 9:00, you're going to bed hungry, period. Something I wasn't use to, I'm use to going out, either to a supermarket or a diner at all hours of the night. Not at the cabin, though.

Another thing about the cabin life was that it was dependant on a woodstove to heat the joint. Chopping wood....another thing I wasn't accustomed to. But hey, I'm living in an adaptable world, and I am an adaptable boy. So I bought myself some overalls, rolled up my sleves and went to work, chopping wood each morning before I went to work.

Danm, I felt so proud! I really wish there were people around to see me chopping the freakin' wood! It was awesome.

So, anyways, one day I was out chopping wood. This was around early spring, where the days are pretty warm, but the nights were freazing. I had a lot of wood to chop that day. The night before, I though I chopped enough for a week, and it didn't last me a night. I was determinded not to let that happen again. I gave myself a good 4 hours that day of doing nothing but chopping da' wood.

So I start chopping away, and chopping away, and chopping away....

There's a 6th sence that we all have that tells us when we're being watched. I was getting that feeling really strongly. I wrote it off as just being in the middle of nowhere.

Anyways, after awhile I notice some sort of object at where the forest begins. The cabin was located in a meadow, the forest surrounds it. The paticular point I was looking at was maybe a couple hundred yards away.

It wasn't unsual seeing something weird when you're looking at the forest all day. Between the trees, the rocks, the light, and shadows, you can see some pretty weird stuff.

What I saw, looked like a giant bird-man. With the head of a bird, maybe a vulture, standing on 2 legs, with large-dark eyes that were looking at me like it wanted to kill me.

I didn't pay it much mind, other than thinking "cool" or whatever.

So I went back to chopping wood, feeling all manly and stuff. Then, I thought I'd check out the spot where I was seeing a bird-man and see if I saw something else.

To my surprise, I still saw the bird-man. Not only that, he was in a differnt position. Before, he was sort of sitting on a rock, or a tree stump. THIS time, he was standing between two trees, with his hands pushing against the trees, not unlike the bible hero, Samson, standing between the pillars. Still looking dead at me with eyes that just wanted to kill me.

The thing was huge, even from my distance I could tell that. But I still wasn't even thinking that this could be real. I was saying to myself what an awesome organ the brain is, and how it can see things on it's own with just the tiniest encouragment, and so on...

Anyways, I was still chopping my wood, and staring at the same spot to see what else I could see.

Then things became weird, as I was looking at the bird-man/thing I saw it make little moves, and jestures. I saw it remove it's left hand from the tree, then put it back a few seconds later. It was making movements that confirmed that what I was looking at was definately some living creature, and not some country mirage as I thought.

Now that this thing had my attention, I wondered what the hell it was! It didn't look like a bear, and they usually only came out at night. It certainly wasn't a deer...I was just dumfounded. I kept watching this thing for a few more moments with my mouth open, until I couldn't take anymore and started heading out towards it, with my ax in tow.

As I grew closer, I was wondering what it was gonna turn out to be. I mean, it still looked like a giant bird-man to me.

I made sure to walk slow, because if it did turn out to be a bear, or something else that might maul me, I wanted to make sure I wouldn't startle it.

Each step I took closer towards my object, the more it was turning out to be what I described.

A very tall, weird-creature with a head of a vulture. Standing (akwardly) on two legs, feathers all around it's torso, giving me the angriest look anyone has ever given me.

I wasn't even really scared at that point. I was just puzzeled. Why was this still not turning into something that made scense?

Anyways, I kept walking and stopped at a point where I got a VERY good look at it. It was huge, it looked angry, and it was very fucking real. I stopped and we stared at each other, maybe 20 away. It took awhile for this to compute. I was looking at it, and it was looking at me. Eyeball to eyeball. I was looking at it's body, mostly dark feathers. I could see a few white feathers mixed in with the mostly dark feathers. While computing all this, the only thing my brain could rationalize this as, other than me going bonkers, was maybe there was a 7 1/2 foot guy, wearing some bird costume, running around the forest with a bird costume on. Not that that's very rationale, but I was looking at a vuture the size of Michael Jordan here! The imperfections of the body feathers, and the (much) smaller than human head, ruled out that option.

At the exact same moment that I was in acceptance that I was staring at something that made absolutely no sense whatsoever...

The thing turned around, and ran away!


I stood there for about three seconds before I turned around and did the same.

I went to the cabin first, but didn't feel safe there at all. It was just like a horror movie. Trapped alone in the wilderness, with a fucking Birdman running around outside, cutting my telephone line and whatnot.

Fuck that, I put the ax in the car and drove to work in my overalls.

At work people could tell that something tramatic happened to me, but I wouldn't talk about it. they wouldn't of believed me, and those that would have believed it were weirdos!

I didn't want to tell my uncle either. He knows that I've done my share of drugs in the past, and that this probably isn't a smart thing to bounce off him. So I just told him I saw some guy in the forest.

He gave me a shotgun and said if you see him again, shoot first and ask questions later.

Going home that night after work was easily one of the scariest times in my life. I slept next to the shotgun all night long. Every little noise I heard, I sat up with the gun. I didn't sleep at all that night.

So that's my story.

The fwe people I've told actually do believe me because they know how scepital I am at such things. Whether you believe this or not is up to you. I'm use to being called crazy.

I left the cabin about a month later, and never seen anything like this again.

I still have no clue as to what the heck I saw. But I do know one Geo smashed his cousin.


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