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When Canadians Attack

”I'm Canadian and I've just read your article on Bill O'Fuck Face. FYI: A) Our economy is doing fine at present, better than America's. B) Canadians don't give a flying fuck about ignorant Americans who boycott countries that don't agree with American politics. c) France's economy has NOT suffered from your ridiculous "freedom fries" parade of a boycott! In fact the rest of the world laughed at such moronic behavour. D) If you'd like to read some facts on American-Canadia trade, you'll find that there is a strong economical interdependency - America rely's on Canada as much as Canada rely's on America (See Globe and Mail, articles by John Doyle). Maybe Americans should cut back on watching such trash, it breeds hatred and ignorance, leaving Americans wondering why the rest of the world can't stand them!”

I dunno. Maybe it’s me, but when I see a Canadian criticize America I kinda’ see it like a bad Elvis impersonator talk shit about the real Elvis.

I mean I think it’s cute an all how they talk about themselves like they’re a real country- a serious country nonetheless. But I think this particular Canadian is a little loopy with all the “America is just as reliant on Canada” stuff. I mean c’mon, I like maple syrup as much as the next Yank, but if the supple was to somehow dry up I’m sure I’d carry on.

Luckily for her she has free health care. Free in the sense that she’s actually paying for it out of her incredibly taxed portion of her income, but other than that it’s completely free.

If she were to sign up for some psychiatric help now, she should be able to see a doctor in oh, six, maybe seven years.

And it’s funny I should get this now because I was totally gonna’ put in a word to Canadians yesterday who never seize a moment to pull away from America’s teet long enough to scream about how wrong we are aboot’ everything.

When you’re as a progressive country as America is, you’re sure to have a lot of things happen, and some of it ain’t gonna’ be good.

Canadians don’t understand this because they contribute nothing to the world. They sit on their giant iceberg they call a sovereignty and think of themselves as superior because they’ve discovered life is so easy when you’re being taken care of by a big progressive country. To them America is stupid because we haven’t found a super power that looks after us the same way they have.

Sure we make a lot of stupid mistakes, but you can only make mistakes when your putting yourself out there trying to do good.

Canada spends what little resources it has on themselves. It’s noble that they take care of there own, but who’s the more selfish people here? Even though we have plenty of poor people right here in the USA, we give countless money to countries all over the world. My Canadian friends seem to overlook all the good we do.

So, as I’ve said before, until my Canadian friends do something relevant or noteworthy enough that they’ve earned the respect of the international community to where they would have some credence when they speak their mind about world issues, go back to the kiddy table where you belong.


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