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Genghis Jon Interviews Your Punk (Diaryland Survivor 4) Ass! Episode 6, Featuring Chrome Magnum Man!

Genghis Jon- Well Chrome Magnum Man, you got knocked out. To your credit, at least you weren't voted off second. That would of been pathetic. Anyways, why were you voted off, and how do you feel about it?

Chrome Magnum Man- Why was I voted off you ask. Quite simple really, its a conspiracy. Yeah, a fuckin conspiracy! I got the word down low about what they're REALLY doing in Area 51 and the fat cats in the goverment are trying to keep a man down! Wait, this isn't my letter to The Inquirer....um forget what I said. I don't have a clue why I got voted off. The only feelings I truly have about being voted out is I'm disapointed I never truly shined during any of the immunity challanges. Personally I believed some of my best work on the diary was my "be God for a day" and "write your own death." By the votes from the judges, my best work wasn't good enough. I shouldn't of been suprised by that. I seem to be more of a aquired taste for some aka you like the taste of shitty microwave food, well then come on down to Chrome's Diner, you'll get a load of it with each scoop!

Genghis Jon- Why didn't you get involved in one of them-there alliances that are so fashionable these days?

Chrome Magnum Man- Well quite frankly the uniform itched like a mofo and seriously, who the hell wants to learn a fight song with the lyrics "poo poo on you!" No one takes an alliance seriously when your fight song makes six year olds giggle.

Genghis Jon- A lot of people still in the game have signed your guestbook expressing their sorrow to see you go. How much does this make you want to choke them?

Chrome Magnum Man- Eh, not any of them really, I'm not a choking kind of guy. Now if you asked which one I wanted to pimp slap, that would be a different question. Cause nothing gets your point across better then a good pimp slap followed up with a loud, "Bitch please!" Joking aside its cool that so many contestants did that for me. I like this motley crew of mid level whackos cranking out some of the strangest shit concievable in diary land that doesn't border on the criminaly insane or truly deprived. Now thats my kind of writing.

Genghis Jon- I like what you did with your IC#6. I don't know about everyone else, but nothing cracks me up like a little pedophlia humor. I could totally see how this would have gotten you a lot of support. Are you surprised that it backfired?

Chrome Magnum Man- Pedophlia, dick, and fart jokes thats where the big bucks are my friend. Backfired? More like just the normal for me here at DS4. Just this time it finally all caught up with me. I knew I couldn't expect an immunity to come my way, it just wasn't in the votes. So I relied on my charm, wit, and a strange sense of humor. Hey, stop fucking laughing! I do too have charm and wit...um, I think. Ok, you're right, I was relying more on the fact that I was not a threat to anyone in the contest and have a personality thats easily ignorable and not out there in the spot light. Damn, badger a guy will ya.

Genghis Jon- Did the childish factor of the game meet your expectations, or did LoudWoman not bother you?

Chrome Magnum Man- Alright this is where I confess I didn't follow any of the past diary survivors except slightly when LadeeLeroy was in the last one. Even then I didn't realy follow it, I read her IC's, but was completely clueless what was going on. So I walked into this contest completely ignorant of any childish antics. I assumed we are all adults and this a writing contest. Sure there will be tension between the writers out of competition and possible jealously. The unfortunate part is that it didn't always go that way, tempers flared, people unjustily crucified for standing up for themselves. Shit got out of hand, and badly too. The majority of the time I kept out of all that. I tried keeping it light hearted and joking, but that didn't seem to work. Well Loudwoman did get on my last nerve every great once and awhile, for about five minutes. Then I'd just say fuck it and forget it. As soon as she was offically voted off the contest, I took her diary off my buddies list and that was that with her. The only reason I even know about most of the shit that went down is that it either showed up on the blog or I heard it through the grape vein. After my post on the blog exposing the message board she is part of, that was the last time I went there. For me I have better things to do then obsess over such petiness as that all turned into. And this is coming from a self-proclaimed slacker and a loser. That alone should be testement enough to how sad that all is.

Genghis Jon- Did you know that every year 8 million people die from diarrhea? That means in the 5 or so weeks you've ben playing the game, 769,230.769 people have died from this terrible affliction. Do you think it's OK to play games like Diaryland Survivor with all the suffering going on in the world? And what former contestant reminds you the most of diarrhea?

Chrome Magnum Man- Did you know that one in every million people in New York City dies of locust attacks every year. Seriously, weird deaths happen every day. If I was to sit back and wonder if playing a game like this is alright during all the suffering the world, I would get nothing done. There is always suffering of some kind, and there will always be. I spend enough of my time obessing over porn as it is, my life is full like that. Though your information there has stopped and made me think. Will I ever be in a public bathroom and need to give mouth to mouth to some guy dying from his own liquid shit? Dude, how nasty would it be to be locking lips with some guy squirting ass juice all over the floor Not a pretty sight. Actually the former contestant that reminds me most of diarrhea would have to be me. I spew more shit on a daily basis then your average...um...shit spewer?

Genghis Jon- How has Diaryland Survivor helped the war on terror?

Chrome Magnum Man- Diary Survivor has grasped terror firmly around the throat then proceeded to pimp slap it into submission then sent it to the nearest street corner to make us some cash. You would be amazed how much net profit that can earn.

Genghis Jon- On your diary you have a petition to elect Michael Moore for president in 2004. Other then not bathing, what other traits do you look for in your ideal Commander in Chief?

Chrome Magnum Man- Well a sense if dignity, honesty, and a willingness to give me shit loads of money would be nice. Over all I'd really just like to have a Commander in Chief I can look up to and don't feel embarassed about them representing our nation to other countries. Seriously, what the HELL where you people thinking when you voted in George Bush Jr? We didn't want daddy for another term, who thought a lesser version of him would be a better idea. Was it the fact we couldn't find a bigger ignorant redneck that was willing to wear a suit? Is it possible to pleed temporary insanity for an entire country?

Genghis Jon- Let's say you went out partying one night and got really hammered. You wake up the next morning in a strange bedroom, next to a strange girl, feeling very.....strange. Not remembering too much from the night before, you decide to look over and check out last night's conquest when you see this..

My question is what form of suicide would you use?

Chrome Magnum Man- Hah, dude you really can't let this Loudwoman shit go can you. You do know the more you feed the tragicaly ravenous, the hungrier they will get, don't you?

Genghis Jon- Of course I can't, I'm more popular then ever! Let's say she's my Kevin Smith. Anyways, who did you vote off in the Tribal Councils and why?

Chrome Magnum Man- Hm, kind of getting personal there aren't you Sparky. Seriously I had only one vote that had any sense of planning before hand. I'll leave it to your imagination to guess which person she is. I'll give you a hint, she isn't quiet.Other then that I didn't really keep a track record of who and why I voted off people on the game. It was one of my least favorite parts of the game.

Genghis Jon- Liar. Anyways who do you hope will win?

Chrome Magnum Man- Anyone I can be proud of when they finally win the game. Yes I know thats very vague, but lets face it. These exit interviews, when you mention a contestant still in the game, its like sounding a death toll for them. As I'm still not in the game, the ones I'm rooting for are I'd rather not hinder there progress through it by blabbing off at the mouth on here. I do a good enough job of that in my own diary.

Genghis Jon- Who do you think will win?

Chrome Magnum Man- Me! Thats right mother fuckers, I'm back and I'm here to chew bubble gum and kick some ass. And I'm all out of bubble gum. heh, I've always wanted to use that line. This is one I can't really answer because I have no clue who will win. Everytime I thought I knew what was going on in this contest, who would be next to go, I was always wrong. The only thing I could be sure of was that I wasn't going to win this contest and I'd be booted off the contest sooner or later. Nobody wants a loser to be the winner. I just figured it would be a bit later in the contest. See, I told you that I was always wrong at guessing in this contest.

Genghis Jon- Well Chrome, it's been fun. Sorry to see you go. Is there anything you'd like to say, or any former contestant you'd like to remark on her ugliness?

Chrome Magnum Man- This game has had its moments and I've met some really interesting people that makes all this worth the shit one has to go through. I've found a bunch of new people's diaries that I will keep reading and that is always a good thing. The only thing I ask is I'm out of the contest, so all the politics of it has ended for me. If any of the contestants in the game doesn't like my diary then please don't leave me on your buddy list. I don't need codling, I'm a big boy. And with that I say my good byes, farewells, get a grope or two in and be off. One special shout out to Meg, supreme goddess of Diary Survivor. You rock and don't you forget it.

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