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Decision 2002

Well.....looks like we got one of them-there elections going on.

Politics FUCKING rule. I don't know about you, but nothing makes me feel more American than to exercise my right to vote.

Not only that, but everytime you vote, a commie gets diarrhea.

Politics are so great because it's a fabulous demonstration of people at their worst. Anybody that's seen a television comercial scaring you into voting for them knows what I'm talking about.

For instance, you'll see one for "Canadate A" telling you, over sinister electronic droning, how his/her opponent voted for a bill to tax poor children and give the money to greedy millionaires.

They also supported an act to club baby seals for no reason. Another for blowing up the sun. Yet another law for madatory sodomy, and so on...

Right about this time you're ready to abandon all hope and just put a gun to your head. I mean, really! Who could save us from this sort of evil tyranny? Who can lead us helpless masses out of these dark times?

Just as you're pondering a reason to live, a faint shimmer of hope comes over the airways.... You wipe the tears from your eyes and hear the soft, flowery music kicking in to introduce "Canadate A!' The Righteous and Merciful!

A video starts to roll of thousands of beautiful, mulicultured children running up to "Canadate A" to hug and kiss him. "Canadate A" stops for a moment to give some attention to a child in a wheelchair. As "Canadate A" touches the child, the boy leaps out of his chair, and kisses the feat of the man that saved him.

"Canadate FUCKING A"!

Over the video, a deep-vocaled, yet soothing narrorator testifies "Canadate A promises never to tax children that don't have any money. Canadate A has fought hard to protect the sun, not blow it up. And Canadate A has lead the fight against mandatory, public sodomy."

After giving CPR to a supporter that passed out from excitement, Canadate A looks in the camera and says "I've fought hard on issues like not blowing up the sun, and I believe public sodomy should be a choice that big government has no say in. I hope you'll join me in my fight to save all of mankind."

Well, maybe the ads aren't that bad. But they're not far off. The basic message is the same. The other guy is not only wrong, he's evil! He, wants to harm you! Be afraid! FEAR! FEAR! FEAR!

If you're bored one day, try to watch as many political commercials as you can, and force yourself to believe everything they tell you.

In about 5 hours you'll feel like you took ten hits of acid.


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