Genghis Jon Interviews Your Punk Ass! Episode II Featuring FadeIn
Oh boy, another interview.
The lucky bastard that caught me on the IM this time was Bill.
Enjoy.
Fadein: my punk ass hereby officially requests a genghis-jon style interview
Genghis Jon: Bill!
Fadein: Jon!
Fadein: hey man, whats up?
Genghis Jon: Hey, you gonna be around for 10 minutes?
Fadein: yeah
Genghis Jon: I gotta get me a dunkin donuts coffee
Fadein: ill be here
Genghis Jon: I can't interview without being all pepped up
Genghis Jon: ya dig?
Genghis Jon: Ok, I'll be back
Fadein: i cant eb interviewd without being all pepped myself
Fadein: so i dig
Genghis Jon: Want me to get you anything while I'm there?
Fadein: a hot indian dunkin donuts employee
Genghis Jon: ;)
Genghis Jon: comming at cha
Fadein: ok
(10 mins later)
Genghis Jon: OK. you asked for it!!!!!
Genghis Jon: Let's get it on!!!
Fadein: lets roll
Genghis Jon: Ok, I'm here with the one and only Fadein. First question.....what are you wearing?
Fadein: just my turban
Fadein: why do you ALWAYS ask me that every time we talk?
Genghis Jon: Ooooh baby! I bet you got some hot stuff under that turbin?
Genghis Jon: I don't know why I always ask you that.
Fadein: its cool, though...what are you wearing?
Genghis Jon: I'm declaring jihad against you, baby!
Fadein: i think thats the name of the newest taliban movie
Genghis Jon: I'm wearing my "I wanna' cyber-sex Fadein" T-shirt
Fadein: oh, good
Fadein: sales of those are doing well
Genghis Jon: Ok, so first off I want to appologize for TV Zero, he was really being an ass to you.
Genghis Jon: What's up with that guy?
Fadein: thats ok. im going to get him
Fadein: i have no idea. i think he thinks he's some kind of writer or something
Genghis Jon: I mean.....calling you a monkey? You shoulda' seen the stuff I didn't print, it was awful!
Fadein: did you know that hes threatened to kill me several times?
Fadein: he really has...that isnt a joke
Genghis Jon: Well...he's a poopy writer if you ask me...
Genghis Jon: AND he's a drug addict!!
Genghis Jon: With a criminal past!!
Fadein: he's robert downeys dealer
Fadein: you know those LA people
Genghis Jon: You, know I can take a joke. I'm Genghis F'ing Jon after all!!!! But the stuff he said about you, well, just wasn't funny man....
Fadein: well, i have something to tell you
Fadein: im not moving to LA to pursue my career in TV
Genghis Jon: (tilts head)
Fadein: im just going to track him down
Fadein: and make him love me
Fadein: thats all i want now
Genghis Jon: Bill, you can't make him love you.
Genghis Jon: He already loves me.
Fadein: i want all asian boys, like TV Zero to love me
Fadein: that pic was SEXXXY!
Legitamo: He love you long time!
Fadein: heh heh
Genghis Jon: Can I say that?
Fadein: i think so...this show is on late enough.
Genghis Jon: Ok, next question.
Fadein: go ahead
Genghis Jon: Why is your layout so fucking cool? Do you know what it's like trying to shove a computer up your ass because mine is so inferior?
Genghis Jon: ANSWER ME!!!!
Fadein: well....
Fadein: i do know what its like trying to shove a computer up my ass
Fadein: thats all i can really say about that, though
Fadein: i mean, legally
Genghis Jon: IT HURTS, BILL!!!!
Fadein: yeah, but doesnt it feel great when you pull out the mouse?
Fadein: that shit should be illegal
Genghis Jon: Next question. You're known around the D-Land as Mr. Funny. If you're so funny, make my readers die laughing right now.
Genghis Jon: You have 5 seconds.
Genghis Jon: 4
Fadein: THIS INTERVIEW IS OVER
Genghis Jon: 3
Genghis Jon: 2
Genghis Jon: 1
Fadein: you want a laugh? go read tvzero
Genghis Jon: Fair enough.
Fadein: that guy...good lord
Fadein: hey, you're pretty funny yourself
Fadein: those letters to corporations always crack me up
Genghis Jon: Me? huh?
Fadein: i love those
Genghis Jon: Yeah well, someone's gotta' do it.
Fadein: "this bag of chips made my husband feel a little bi-sexual"
Fadein: thats just genius, my friend
Genghis Jon: Aw, schucks.....tell that to my mom.
Fadein: whats her email?
Genghis Jon: [email protected]
Fadein: oh, HER
Genghis Jon: Know her?
Fadein: um...yeah.
Genghis Jon: Ok, let's move on
Fadein: um. yeah
Fadein: i feel all awkward now
Genghis Jon: So you live in Chicago but are moving to LA, is that so???
Fadein: that is correct, yes
Genghis Jon: Is that correct?
Fadein: it is indeed
Genghis Jon: I got that right? Chicago to L.A.?
Fadein: you do, sir, yes
Genghis Jon: So, what's the deal with that? Chicago ain't good enough for ya?
Fadein: man, i have to go where the magic happens
Fadein: believe me, i wish i could stay here...i wish hollywood were here
Fadein: for various reasons
Genghis Jon: Well, Mister. I don't remember Chicago OR L.A. producing a WORLD CHAMPION NFL team this year!
Genghis Jon: I believe it was...
Genghis Jon: Lemme check here..
Genghis Jon: Oh Yeah, NEW ENGLAND!
Fadein: i think the L.A. Cokeheads are going to have a great season next year
Fadein: this was a rebuilding year for them
Genghis Jon: Yeah, the L.A. Cokeheads are looking good.
Fadein: they always get distracted by the lines on the field though
Fadein: thats just weird
Genghis Jon: So explain to me how this is gonna' work. You gonna' walk into Hollywood and fill out and application for a "moviestar"... Desired salary "$20 million" ...Is that how it works? Please explain..
Fadein: no, actually, youre kind of simplifying it
Genghis Jon: Oh, really?
Fadein: i want to try and sleep my way to the top, you see
Genghis Jon: So you famous people are hard working too, is that right?
Fadein: im going to do this by making myself as attractive as possible to old jewish men in positions of power
Genghis Jon: Starting with TV Zero?
Fadein: yes, he's one of the sexiest, oldest jews i know
Fadein: do you know that his real name is samuel?
Genghis Jon: Samuel? Are you kidding me?
Genghis Jon: He said it was Jon, like me. That liar!
Fadein: not at all. now theres a guy who's spun a lot of dreidels, if you know what im sayin'...
Genghis Jon: Ha....yeah....I think I do. Hey, be sure you walk into that town with alot of Jewish jokes. I hear they go over well in Hollywood.
Fadein: heh heh
Fadein: yeah, i look like hitlers wet dream..im an all american blond white boy, so im kind of scared
Fadein: i might not have a career at all
Fadein: at leats ill have zero
Genghis Jon: I went there one time trying to sell a script for a sitcom called " Hitler's Wild, Wet, n' Wacky Dance Party!" They were tripping over themselves for it!
Fadein: oh, who was going to be in that?
Genghis Jon: Hitler was going to be played by MC Hammer
Fadein: now that is good casting
Genghis Jon: I'll say!
Fadein: ill see if i can get that project resurrected for you
Genghis Jon: But they stole my idea and made TRL, can you believe that?
Fadein: thats bullshit! man, those hollywood bastards
Genghis Jon: Yeah, but the real evil in that town are the Left-Handed "people". They controll everything!
Genghis Jon: And they're taking over my friend.
Fadein: carson daly could play a young hitler
Genghis Jon: Yeah, he's a cool, hip, Hitler. Maybe on each show he could throw one of those screaming teenagers into an oven, or something?
Fadein: or maybe just gas them, through a transparent window
Fadein: see, jon? this is brainstorming...this is how it gets done over there
Genghis Jon: True, very true.
Genghis Jon: So what are you gonna miss most about Chicago?
Fadein: hmmm. i think, honestly, public transportation
Fadein: the el. i love the el
Genghis Jon: What the "El's" THAT?
Genghis Jon: ha!
Fadein: also, seasons
Genghis Jon: Yeah, well, when you're on a beach in January, looking at chics in bikinis, I think your desire for seasons will be subdued..
Fadein: have you ever been here?
Genghis Jon: Chicago? Once.
Fadein: man, i dont know. 70 degrees on christmas just seems unholy to me
Genghis Jon: Well if you want holy....I think you're barking up the wrong tree there, sport.
Fadein: also, i have lots of really cute sweater outfits that make me feel like a little princess.
Fadein: i wont be able to wear those out there
Genghis Jon: You'll just have to wear those bicycle pants that make your thighs look fat.
Fadein: thats all i can wear now..spandex...you may have read that i gained some weight since i quit smoking
Fadein: i wear lots of bright yellow spandex
Genghis Jon: i have read that. Fucking quiter. You just won't stop until you make me feel like crap, will you?
Genghis Jon: Yellow is a good color. That way it can match your hair.
Fadein: jon, how else can i drive home the point that i am better than you?
Fadein: and everybody else, you know?
Genghis Jon: I don't know, Bill! Why don't you just say it! Here's your forum...just SAY IT!!! Stop beating around the freggin' bush already!!!!!!!
Fadein: especially tvzero
Fadein: ok, you're right! ill just say it:
Genghis Jon: Let's not bring in TV Zero. He hates jews you know?
Fadein: I AM A FAT MAN WHO RIDES THE EL WEARING YELLOW SPANDEX DURING THE WINTER SEASON IN CHICAGO
Fadein: feels good to just say it already
Fadein: yeah, zero is one of those self loathing jews
Fadein: its just sad
Genghis Jon: I hear he has "no problem" with left handed "people" also.
Genghis Jon: What do you make of that?
Fadein: and he really has threatened to kill me....i want to make that fact public
Fadein: what do i make of him? he's psychotically ultra competitive...he's scared that im coming out to write in LA
Genghis Jon: Ok, let's go there. You're saying that TV ZERO has threatened to actually "kill" you? Tell us about that..
Fadein: he feels im a threat to him
Genghis Jon: And he wants to "kill" you?
Fadein: he's called me, weeping, begging me not to "make him kill me"
Fadein: weeping, jon
Genghis Jon: OH MY GOD!!!
Fadein: i know, i know
Genghis Jon: Jeezus, Bill. that's some scary shit.
Fadein: i just want him to get the help he needs
Genghis Jon: We all do Bill, we all do.
Genghis Jon: But he has to make the first step.
Fadein: he says that "theres only room for one of us"
Genghis Jon: You poor dear. Well, if it helps any, Oprah Winfrey has been saying the same thing to me since I started interviewing.
Fadein: its just sad, is all
Fadein: can we change the topic?
Fadein: im trying to keep it together here
Genghis Jon: Yeah, i think we better. I'm a little shaken myself.
Fadein: thank you
Genghis Jon: Um, let's see. Next question. Where are my bitches at?????
Fadein: DAMN, YO
Fadein: i dont even know!
Genghis Jon: You ain't gots my bitches?
Fadein: I ain't got yo' biches...
Genghis Jon: shiiiiiiiiit...
Fadein: On the subject, lemme' ask you, does your diary helps you with the ladies
Genghis Jon: Oh your axing me questions now? Ok, yes, it does help me with the ladies. I do great with 15 year old girls from northern-arctic Canada, who think I look like one of the guys from Dream Street.
Genghis Jon: How about you?
Fadein: wow, yeah. what is it with canadians and 13 year olds? they make up most of my fan base too.
Genghis Jon: I don't know. Somebody should really conduct a study on them.
Fadein: if i were in alabama, id be all set with the ladies
Genghis Jon: Really, I'm HUGE south of the mason-dixie line.
Genghis Jon: I got flowers from the Dixie Chics once.
Fadein: im a star in japan
Fadein: i mean, no one in america knows about me, but im massive over there
Fadein: i have a great career as a pop singer going
Fadein: im known as 'MC Billy B'
Genghis Jon: Yeah, I saw the Fadein Pokemon. Very cool.
Fadein: yeah, i saw that too!
Fadein: but why did they make my special power impotence?
Genghis Jon: Impotence is sacred over there, Bill. Right below irratable bladder disorder.
Genghis Jon: So, my readers want to know about the female attention you've gotten due to your diary.
Fadein: hmmm...well, i do like the ladies, jon, i make no secret of that
Genghis Jon: yep-yep...
Fadein: but i didnt really have much of a chance to explore that until my break up
Fadein: a few months ago, i did meet one girl from diaryland, and she was very cool
Genghis Jon: Really! Now we're talking!
Fadein: but she told me she didnt want to get too involved with a guy who was moving
Genghis Jon: Pheff......
Fadein: which, of course, means "i never want to see you naked, ever"
Fadein: so it didnt really work out
Fadein: Yes, that's what it mean alright
Fadein: yup
Genghis Jon: Bill?
Fadein: yeah
Genghis Jon: Why did you tell her you were moving? You must hate sex.
Fadein: heh heh
Fadein: yeah, i think i said this before, but i should have just told her i was dying
Fadein: that way id get the pity-lovin'
Genghis Jon: Duhh!
Fadein: then, in june, id just disappear without a trace, and that would be that
Genghis Jon: Works for my "colon-cancer" ass!
Fadein: im still kicking myself for that one
Genghis Jon: So, tell us how you met this beautiful Diary-lover.....
Genghis Jon: (boom chicka-boom-chicka)
Fadein: well...we used to just talk on AIM, and then we realized that we went to the same university at the same time, way back in the day, and had lots of people in common, so we just decided to hang out
Genghis Jon: Awwww Yeah!
Fadein: so, we had drinks one night and then hung out a bit after that
Genghis Jon: So did you exchange pics first or what?
Fadein: yes, yes...but, we didnt even realize when we did that that we ran in the same social circle at school
Fadein: we didnt really recognize one another until much later
Genghis Jon: Until you saw her naked?
Fadein: so, i guess you can kind of say it was...uh, serendipity
Genghis Jon: Like the movie?
Fadein: theres a movie called serendipity?
Fadein: wow!
Genghis Jon: Yeah man, that hooker chic is in it I think
Fadein: no, i never ever saw her naked
Genghis Jon: That's good, she's got a tattoo of ghandi giving head to Santa Claus on her ass.
Fadein: such a typical tattoo
Fadein: every college girl has that one and the yin-yang
Genghis Jon: Hey, I hate to interupt, but TV Zero just made contact with me.
Fadein: oh? what does that murderous bastard have to say?
"TV Zero: so are you interviewing someone else's punk ass?
Genghis Jon: Yes, Bill
TV Zero: man i hate that guy..."
Fadein: i know, i know
Fadein: he's skipping his medication
Fadein: (viagra)
Genghis Jon: Think so?
Fadein: thats why he's crazy
Genghis Jon: You're right, he does want to kill you
Fadein: did you read that ghost story?
Fadein: fucking nutball!
Genghis Jon: What ghost story?
Fadein: actually, im a little worried about both of you
Genghis Jon: Oh, don't ever start!
Fadein: he's seeing ghosts, you're seeing giant birds...
Genghis Jon: Don't bring up the fucking birdman, I'm so sick of hearing about it.!
Fadein: i dont even know what to make of it, so i wont
Genghis Jon: Next question. How can one of MY 13 year old arctic-Canadian, or southern Alabamite readers get your attention? What turns you on?
Fadein: thats a good question, and it deserves an answer
Genghis Jon: I'll say!
Fadein: what i look for in a 13 year olds diary is a sense of sophistication, you know?
Fadein: i want a 13 year old who thinks like a 15 year old, at least
Genghis Jon: Hmmm...fascinating....
Fadein: i dont want to know if 'jimmy called chrissy' i like problems that are more complex
Genghis Jon: Wow, you've thought this through....
Fadein: i want to hear good, adolescent reasons for hating everything and everyone
Fadein: im especially turned on when girls hate their parents and cut themselves
Genghis Jon: Yeah, me too. It makes me want to give them attention.
Genghis Jon: I also like to hear how nobody but Marilyn Manson and Limp Bizcut understands them....
Fadein: right. thats where the beauty of this little game we call 'the human experience' makes itself apparent to me
Fadein: can i have a moment?
Genghis Jon: Go ahead.
Fadein: ...
Genghis Jon: Let it out.
Genghis Jon: It's OK, Bill.
Fadein: ok. ok, im good. it was close, but im cool
Fadein: im cool
Fadein: is this cup of water mine?
Fadein: can i drink this?
Genghis Jon: can I offer you a cyber-hug?
Fadein: you have a beautiful set here
Genghis Jon: Alright I have to rap this puppy up.
Fadein: amen. ive been here for-fucking-ever
Genghis Jon: Anything you want to say to the Genghis Jon readers out there?
Fadein: yes.
Fadein: abandon genghis and worship me
Fadein: he is a false idol
Fadein: his path leads to ruination
Genghis Jon: anything you want to say that will NOT get deleted?
Fadein: no, i think im good
Fadein: thanks for the interview...who's your next guest?
Genghis Jon: Well thanks for chatting with me Bill, good luck on your trip to LA, watch out for TV Zero, and say hi to Cammie Diaz for me.
Fadein: do you have a musical act lined up for tonight?
Genghis Jon: My next guest is a secret, bitch.
Fadein: DAMN, YO
Fadein: .....and scene.
Genghis Jon: No musical act. I'm much more interesting than any music.
Fadein: you ARE music
Genghis Jon: I am music made flesh
Fadein: are we done yet? jesus
Genghis Jon: Alright, I'm gonna be late for Beauty and the Beast.
Genghis Jon: Fuck yeah, just say goodbye!
Fadein: BYE, EVERYBODY!
Genghis Jon: Yeah, yeah, yeah .....goodbye
Genghis Jon: BTW, TV ZERO was better.
Fadein: ouch
Fadein: yeah, well i was faking it
Genghis Jon: Got a photo for me, or do you want me to pull one up, like I did for zero?
Fadein: youre the interviewer
Genghis Jon: FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST GOODBYE!!!!!!
Ok, so later Bill broke down and sent me a pic, after PROMISING I wouldn't post it.
I swore on my unborn-children's grave that I wouldn't. I told him I just wanted to put a face to the interview.
Anyways, here's what he looks like.
Comments?
