Let's pretend for a second that there was a show on television, hosted by a big fat bald piece of shit that sort of didn�t see the irony in someone like himself helping overweight people get in shape.

Now, normally I don't watch Dr Phil. Today however I made the mistake of leaving the TV on when I left the house, and when I returned I was greeted to this mind melting crap.

You wonder why housewives are all fucked up pill poppers. As nutty as Dr Phil is, he�s still considered high-end television compared to who�s competing against him on this time slot.

So anyways, Dr. Phil had compiled this team of fatsos to start a fat club where they try to motivate themselves to lose weight. All under the supreme guidance of Dr Phil, who tries to tell them what they�re doing wrong when he�s not stuffing that fat face of his.

So we watch Team Fatso have group meetings where they do all sorts of unproductive stuff like take off their clothes and talk about how much weight they�d like to lose. They pretty much do everything except stuff that will actually get them to lose weight. Didn�t see too many of them on the tred mill for instance.

But what they did have time for, surprisingly, was acting out a dramatization of what they were like before they decided to get serious, and go to the fattest guy on the planet for help losing weight.

They showed a black and white film of one of the ladies eating Doritos in bed. I questioned the rational of this at first, but who am I to judge. Dr Phil is obviously so smart. Just look what he did with Oprah. How can you argue with those type of results?

Anyways, my favorite part was when they were all sitting around talking about how they�re gonna� lose weight. They were getting all spiritual, like losing 50 lbs takes fairydust or some shit, and this one guy, who at least had the physical appearance of a guy, which seriously came into question when he spoke, started saying �I always felt like I had a best friend somewhere that was strong, and courageous, and free�� then I start screaming at the TV �IT�S YOU MAN!! YOU ARE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND!!!!� and he continues ��but what I didn�t realize is that my best friend was really me�.

Do I know this shit or what? After that happened Dr Phil put on a skirt and showed the crowd the proper way to put in a tampon.

Could he look like more of a cocksmoker, this guy?

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Someone asked me what happed to the entry that was just here titled �Trying�. Well it appears that some little pussy has been highjacking my diary as of late and putting up all these sissy ass entries. I�m happy to say that the guy who has been doing that has been beaten to a pulp with a crowbar by yours truly. So if you�re looking for feelings, go see Dr Phil? I'm back and pissier than before!

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SAAAAAATTTTTAAAAANNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!

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