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Valentine's day, genghis style

Oh me aching heart.

I had the pleasure of having me heart ripped out not once, but twice this week.

Well, maybe not ripped out, but I was definately made aware of what a lonely, pathetic creature I am in the way that only a female can accomplish.

Case in point, Rebecca. Now, as I wrote earlier, Rebecca is the fucking devil. Now that everything seems to be over and done with, I feel free to tell the tale.

Bec contacts me over the Christmas, we make plans were we get together the day after Christmas. The day comes, we visit, we stay up late talking about things, we hook up, blah, blah....

Next thing I know she's writing and calling and telling me how connected we are, and all that. I know better than to fall into this sort of thing but do anyways because I'm weaker than I realize.

While back in Montana, I get a call one day where she confesses to me that she has a boyfriend, but she said she knew when she saw me that she ought to be with me, and was breaking up with him. She said she needed to delay the breakup because she was applying to grad school and her boyfriend was in fact her boss, as you would have it, and she needed him to write a letter of recommendation. But that was done and she was gonna cut the strings the next day.

I didn't say much to her because I really didn't awnt to have the conversation. I thought it was pretty shitty on her end hooking up with me while she still had a boyfriend whether she intended to break it off with him or not. I also thought it was double slimey hanging onto him just to get that letter out of him.

But I didn't want to look at that. I had things as good as I could ask. A girlfriend that lived 2000 miles away is ideal for a guy like me.

First it alieviated the pressure of actually having a girlfriend in the first place, while not having to worry about her on a day to day basis. Yip-fucking-e.

Anyways, so I blow a week of my precious vacation to spend with this turd. As I've written before, I picked her up at the airport and instead of the expected, overtly-excited embrace I received a hug you might give your grammy. When we got back to her house I got the old "I need to talk to you."

I already knew what she was gonna say but felt the least I could get out of her was to watch her squirm a bit.

She went on and said she decided not to end it with the guy, that she lives 2000 miles from me, and couldn't expect me to stay single, that it wouldn't be fair. She went on to say that she didn't feel the need to tell her boyfriend what happended between us because at that time she was expecting to break up with him. She ended by saying that she questions her decision because she feels a strong connection with me, and she still wants to hang out this week.

The only thing that was going through my mind when she was saying this was that what she how I, not her boyfriend ended up being the one she screwed. It amazed me. I knew that she waited until we got back from the airport to tell me this because she didn't want to jepordize my taxi service. Granted, she could have told me this weeks ago, and I may not of had to sacrifice an entire week of my precious vacation time, to what would of been akwardly chumming around with an ex.

I'd rather eat snail shit, myself.

Anyways, we had dinner with her mom, and she showed no signs of stress which angered me even more.

After dinner, when we were sitting on the couch, she showed me her unbelievably hairy legs that she seemed ever so proud of.

Right then I knew I was gonna' blow her off that week.

When I was leaving she gave me another gramma hug, and then chased me outside to give me a kiss. A peck, actually. Too little, too late. She was history.

What made it all the more easier to do that was the introduction of this other beast of a woman that my friend started rooming with.

I was getting word from my friend that she spoke interest of having me as a "goto guy." Goto as in goto for sex. That's it. Nothing else. Seemed fine with me for two reasons. Number one she's hot and I wanna get laid. Number two in my mind this is how things start off these day. No expectations, just sex, then, once she finds out what a fabulaous person I am she won't be able to help but to fall madly in love with old Genghis.

In her mind, goto means just that.

So, as I'm surfing the expectation wave,I find myself, after hooking up of course, doing things like any husband would. She has a kid and I volunteered to babysit twice this week. When she was sick, I got her vitamins. When her DVD player broke, I fixed it. What more could a girl want?

Is what I asked myseld as i was leaving her house this morning. I spent the night babysitting her son while she went to work. This morning I was sitting around with her, my friend (her roommate) when my friend told a tale of the night before where a friend of her's admitted to finding her personal ad of her's that was on the internet.

"You have a personal ad on the internet?" spoke the girl in question. "I want one too."

"You'll need a piture of yourself" said my friend. "Why not ask Jon to take a picture of you with his digital camera for your personal ad."

"Hey Jon, can you take a picture of me with your digital camera so I can meet guys that are better than you with a personal ad on the internet?*" (*Is what I heard, not a direct quote)

After not seeing a hole in the floor for me to jump into, I annouced that I was leaving.

Shortly after I got home, I got the call.

"Hey, Jon, I was just calling to see if everything's alright."

"Fine, why?"

"Well, did you leave because of what I said? I mean, I worry that you have expectations, and are we still friends....."

She went on witheverything i didn't want to hear. This was the worst kind of diss ever. Showing interest that she wants a personal ad says that she is indeed looking for someone, just not me.

My self-esteem is just soaring right now.


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