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Politics Today

Hey, do you like your politicians young, and energenic?

Do you like Democrats?

Do you like black people?

If you answered yes to any of these, you're gonna love Bamma Obama (or something).

Bamma gave a speech last night at the Democratic Convention that was just amazing. He talks like a preacher, very spiritual. A few times I caught myself yelling out loud "Praise John Kerry! John Kerry is great! If loving John Kerry is wrong, I don't want to be right."

Turns out this guy is presently only a state senator, who's running for the US senate seat in Illinois. He's so fucking good, the republicans can't even find anybody to go up against him. Even Mike Ditka didn't want to go up against him, and he has tons of experience with black people.


With all the hoopla going on with the convention, it might be easy for any of us to fall into all the excitment and actually think John Kerry has a prayer.

I want to take a sober moment and remind ebverybody that he won't. No, not because I'm not voting for him, I am. But he's gonna lose, and he's gonna lose bad.

I just want you all not to get your hopes up. We're gonna' have four more years of Bush and we mibd as well get ready for it.

And this term it's gonna' be much, much worse.

His first term he had to worry about re-election. This time he doesn't have to worry about jack. case in point, President William Jefferson Clinton. During his first term he was straight as an arrow. His second term he was getting blowjobs in the Oval office by interns.

Clinton was horny, but basically a good guy. Just imagine what someone who doesn't have the people's best interests in mind could do with this power.

George Bush's second term will consist of invasions of Iran, North Korea, Iraq (again), Pluto, and New Jersey.

He'll pass a law saying millionaires will pay no taxes whatsoever, and convice people that it's actually good for the economy.

On the plus side I predict that George W Bush will be the president to rid this country of dirty fuels that we've become dangerously dependent on radical countries for. President Bush will introduce 100% solar energy to fuel our cars, and heat our homes.

After he sells the sun to Halliburton.


But for those of us who are stupid enough to hold out any shred of hope, I urge you to contribute a little something to the Kerry/Edwards ticket.

Now I never gave anything to a politician in my life. This is the first time I've ever done it and I'll tell you why...

The republicans gain national power not by how many supports they have (As last election demonstrated) but by their weathly base. With the kind of money George Bush has raised, you could take a stupid guy and make him seem qualified for the presidency.

That's a lot of money, but what really made me want to give was the fact that after Kerry makes his speech accepting the nomintaion tomorrow, he will no longer be able to raise funds while George Bush will have another 6 weeks to do so.

It's too bad this shit has to come down to money, but it really does. It's not enough to vote for your guy these days. You gotta put up some money. I gave $50, and guys, I don't fucking have $50! But when this is all over with I wanted to know I did everything I could to get this bum out of the whitehouse. If you do too, you can really help by coughing up some dough, no matter how much it is and telling others to do so too.

I'm not fucking around here, if you can't at least give $5 to this guy then you have no right to complain when CNN is reporting that we've declared war on Pluto.


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