"Chance to meet the author?"

The first thing I hear when I walked into Barnes & Noble.

I look up at a guy standing behind a table littered by many copies of what appeared to be a book he wrote.

Awfuly proud of himself, ain't he?

Why would somebody ask that? I mean, OK, you wrote a book. There's a nifty little sign right next to you informing me what you did. Shouldn't I be approaching you if I'm interested? What sort of thrill do you think you're bestowing upon the average Joe's and Jane's that dwell the premise? Am I suppose to be thrilled to meet guy who wrote a book I'll never read? have you no shame, man?

I responded playfully "Chance? Looks like a sure thing to me, buddy."

He took the opportunity to show off some of that scholarly wit of his by inquiring...

"What are you an asshole?"

THANK YOU, THANK YOU

*Bows

*Catches roses with teeth

*Waves back to the president

*Blows kiss to Britney

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