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Who you gonna' call?

Tonight I've made the conscience decision to hunt down the abominable Birdman and bring his ass to justice.

Not really. Well maybe....

See, there's this town near the site of my famous apparition that's famously haunted. It's called Dudleytown and it's time I done-paid it a visit.

I asked a few of my friends if they wanted to tag along, and they all responded with "Naw man, not on a Friday night."

That's French for "We're chickenshit."

A lot of people think I'm crazy for doing this, but fuck them. I'm not afraid at all. I think hunting (and eventually taunting) ghosts is actually a very safe sport. I've yet to know of a single person to suffer a casualty from a ghost. From what I understand, ghosts (fear factor aside) are harmless. They can't hurt you in any way! If they tried to punch you or something, their hand would go right through you. Who could be scared of that? Shit, they'd never last in my 'hood. They'd get their transparent ass fucked up!

So if statistics are to be believed, hunting ghosts is a safer sport then chess.

Now, you're probably wondering why the fuck I'm doing this at all. Well, I'm not really sure to be honest. All I can say is that the season calls for it. October reeks of the macabe. You're not going to experience Autumn's full potential unless you take a night to walk around in a haunted forest like a lunatic. And that, dear reader, is exactly what I plan on doing.

I won't be happy until I see me a headless soldier from the revolutionary war, or a moaning lady who commited suicide when her husband died at sea. I'm gonna' run up to the bitch and scream...

"Heeeeey!!!! Hey you!! What the FUCK are you suppose to be, you ectoplasmic whore! Get your ghost-ass out of my forest, you hear me? This is MY fucking forest! You tell your spector friends that this forest here belongs to Genghis FUCKING Jon, and if I catch any of you fucking around here again, I'm gonna kick your ass back to Purgatory! You got me?

Should be fun.


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