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Happy F'ing Halloween

Happy Halloween!

Better yet go wish this nerd a happy Halloween.

Seems like a special day for him. I'm thinking today he'll work twice as hard to try to scare his parents.

Good thing he probably lives in their basement. So luckily he doesn't have to go very far to parade around his gothic attire that they do not approve of.

Heavens to Betsy. Since when is being an atheist so controversal?

My fucking grandfather is an atheist! Big deal!

I mean, the ones that spook me are the ones that do believe in God and go out of their way to piss Him off. You never know what a cat like that is gonna' pull.

But this guy claims to be a Satanist that doesn't believe in God. Kinda' weird thinking that even the devil believes in God.

But whatever. I haven't the time to chat about dumb-fucks with teenage mentalities

Other then myself, of course.

Anyways, what was I talking about?

Oh, Happy Halloween!


Halloween began in Europe. (Home of everything evil) It was started by a bunch of attention starved, old, artsy, twats called witches. These witches spent most of their times in the woods running around naked like a bunch of lunatics. When they weren't doing that, they were making potions. The fumes from the potions would get the witches all light-headed. So much so that they'd think they were flying around on broomsticks.

Anyways, some king got sick of these bitches and told them to cut the shit with the potion. That mad the witches sad. No one really cared because witches were ugly. And the witches demanded that they be granted a holiday, because all stupid people back then had holidays, and they were most definately, stupid. Still no one cared because witches were ugly, but when presented with the facts, the kingdom couldn't deny that yes, they were stupid enough to have a holiday after them. And thus Holloween was born.

Halloween got it's name from the "hollow" felling the witches got when they were "weening" off their potion.

The origins of "trick or treating" began when townsfolk started getting into the holiday by dressing up as witches in mockingly fashion. They'd venture off and knock on each other's door and ask "Trick or Treat." If the homeowner was a ho, she/he'd screw them. If not, they'd get some candy corn.

Jack O' Lanterns started when European men complained that the traditional laterns they used couldn't be masterbated on without the flame going out. Bufford Von Blow came up with the solution of hollowing out a pumpkin to place a candle in. The candle could be placed in the middle, with plenty of surrounding area for ejaculatory purposes. Hence, the Jack o' Lantern was born.

For fun, the masterbatour would carve the goofy look they would sport during climax on the face of the pumpkin.

Bet you didn't know that one?


Speaking of things coming from sperm, my sister turns 40 today. I should call her or something.


I can't believe Jam Master Jay is got murdered. Police still don't know who did it, but if you ask me, I'm thinking it's one of them "Sucker MC's" Run DMC was always rapping about.

I hate those guys.


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