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Haunted weekend

First and formost I want to declare my everlasting love for Pischina who sent me a Nick Drake CD for my birthday.

Pischina is the greatest person ever. I don't deserve her. Nobody does. I feel like whipping myself. We all need to take 5 minutes out of our day and try to think of ways to become more like her.


So my little ghost-hunt proved more frightening than I would have thought. That shit was scary!

I was about 20 minutes into the woods when I heard what I thought were people whispering. I knew that wicca-weirdos and the like frequent the joint so I thought it might be them. I started walking in that direction when I heard a loud knock on a tree I was passing. Like someone threw a rock at me, and missed. I was pretty fucking scared at that point and got the fuck back to my car. When I got back I calmed myself down. I knew there probably weren't any satanists because there's really only once place to park, and I failed to see the token Volvo with the Marilyn Manson or "Got Evil" bumper stickers.

So I talked myself down. I was telling myself that whatever I thought I saw, or heard was just my imagination taking over. I've been dwelling on if I'd see a ghost here or not, and my mind is playing tricks on me. There's NOTHING out there! Plus, it took a good hour to drive out there. I wasn't gonna leave after being there 45 mins.

So I headed back in the haunted fucking forest. Feeling like an asshole, but in search of inspiration and experience nonetheless.

I went a different direction this time. It was raining pretty hard at this point. I thought about my friends who were getting drunk and happy at a rock n' roll bar. It was around this time that I realized that I'm insane.

Anyways, I believe that when you're

in the dark (which I was) that you're basically looking at a blank canvass that your imagination will play with.

Of course someone should of told that to the three fingers I felt slide down my back.(!!!!!!!!!)

I drove about 135mph home.


So, the last week I wrote about the junk food we've been eating at work lately.

I often get emails from random people stating random things. Friday I got this...

"Soylent Green for lunch today?

Now, I don't know this person from Aquaman. 20-25% of my readership are absolute lunatics, so I gotta' test and see who I'm dealing with before I engage in dialog.

I replied...

"Are you going to introduce yourself, or do think I talk to strangers?"

This got me the reply....

"Um. Yes? You do talk to strangers? Sorry about that. It's Friday and I am even more blonde than usual. My name is Tricia and I read your diary. Currently, I am the only person in my building, so I am really doing nothing, more so than my usual nothing here in hell, er work. Other than that, what would you like to know?"

What would I like to know? I don't want to know anything. I was actually quite content not knowing you existed to begin with.

Anyways, deducing that she may fall within that 20-25% catagory I described above, I chose not to write back. This morning I'm greated with the following...

"Could you explain something to me? Besides the obvious fact that you are surprised when people you don't know communicate with you when you leave yourself wide open for them to do so, why put an icon on your diary page letting people, complete strangers even, know when you are online? I suspect it is because you secretly like strangers contacting you, but please clear this up for me. Tricia. Oh, and what exactly is the birdman? You?"

Aye-yiye-yiye! And I'm not going to link her either. I'm doing you a favor, trust me. I've checked. It's basically her trying to convince various guys to marry her by scaring them with facts about their reproductive years drawing nearer to an end. She gets into eggs and shit, it's fucking horrible.

Truth be told, she's just bored at work and wants someone (me) to enteratain her. I know she's bored because she writes extensively about it in her diary.


So my next updates will be an interview with the first loser from Diaryland Survivor, and a tale about the new Krispy Krap donut place that just opened in my 'hood.

So stay tune for the love, the drama the fun.


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