Boy did I feel great. No more coughing up 1/2 lb of flem first thing in the morning. After 20 years of smoking ( I started when I was 11) I felt like a new man, and that new man was Jack LaLayne.
Problem was, healthy was new for me. Especially around the time when I was looking to change my dietary habits, the big thing going on was carbs- carbs were BAD! Fat was also BAD! Water? BAD!
I really needed help, so I turned to some health forums for help.
What I expected was a bunch of doughy guys like me getting help from former-doughy guys who found the secrets to staying in shape.
What I got was a bunch of jocks showing pictures of their hard bodies, talking about their impeccabley "clean" dietary restrictions, and completely berating ANYONE who dares think they can stray from how they themselves eat. I saw one guy get blasted for eating an apple at the wrong time of the day, it was totally insane.
So I had to fuck with these guys. Had to. I know I'm in my thirties and really have to start acting my age at some point. Not today though, another time.
So what I did was get this stretchy shirt I bought that has the magical ability to make anyone wearing it look like the grossest motherfucker on the planet. It just seems to take any bit of fat you might have on your body and scream "Hey, look at this!"
Next I put it on my friend John and took photos.
So why was John the model and not I? Believe me, I look just as bad if not worse in the stretchy shirt. But this is my blog. John can get his own and do whatever he wants in it. But on my blog he plays the role of the tubby, not me.
So, the following is the result of me raiding a fitness board where buff guys talk to other buff guys and have little patience for anyone else.
MOJO3000 am i eating enough calories? i am tryin to eat every 3 hours when i can and im not starving myself, anyone have any input?
GNC MegaMan 0.5 serving Egg, whole, cooked, NS as to cooking method Plain Hamburger Bun 1 serving Whey Protein Shake 29 gram Total Calories 482 ================================================== BlackPython79
Mojo, use your head - if this is your actual diet than you need more than a little forum advice...you need a healthy dose of common sense! Dude - you are killing yourself. Read the clean eating thread and re-evaluate your eating habits.
Truly i don't how you still hadn't ended in the hospital
I will be sincere.YOU ARE NOT EATIN ENOUGH!!
Try to eat whole grains,don't be afraid,throw some complex carbs,veggies and meat(and yes not be afraid of fat)just eat unsaturated fats (mono and poloinsaturated fats)NORMAL FATS AND NOT MUCH SATURATED FATS(20 TO 25 OF SATURATED WILL DO IT) .Truly eat more.It's an easy concept burn more calories that you take and you lose weight.Truly you'll get sick.
Try no to eat much processed foods.Drink water(it's a must).But you have to make right so I recommend to start another topic about your diet so me and my buddies can "help" you.
ex:trying to lose weight need help with my diet!!
Use your creativity.You must make the right topic so you'll atract the attentions of us. NOTEON'T BE AFRAID OF THE CRITISIZE OR ATTACKS OF US,THAT'S JUST PART OF THE TOUGH LEARNING OF THE MEN'S HEALTH ACADEMY.DON'T BE AFRAID IF WE KICK YOUR ***!!
HAHA!I'M JUST JOCKING ================================================== RawkSolid
Hahaha, "whole egg"?
Don't you know you're suppose to not eat the yoke, fat ass?
Either get with the program or GET OUT!!
This place isn't for losers, it's for those of us that respect our bodies enough to keep it healthy.
thanks for all the advice. "RawkSolid" how about I'll lay off the egg yokes if you lay off the ben and jerry's? better yet, if i had your body i'd lay off the everything. ================================================== JesseSaysSo HAHAHA
Judging by your photo I cant tell one part of your body that is even close to resembling being "Rock Solid" How in the hell can you use that as a screen name?
And as far as being a personal trainer....a personal trainer in what, drinking beer?
Hey, I don't know your history. Maybe you lost like 100 lbs or something and you feel on top of the world. Good for you if that's the case. But this place is for advanced fitness gurus who have things like muscles and whatnot. Come back when something on your body isn't flab. ================================================== JesseSaysSo
Yeah...sure...clean the floor with me.
Make sure you clean the floor with that beer and pudding you got behind you in your photo first, OK?