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Genghis Jon. Juicer/Smoker

Check out what one of my readers made for me...

That's right, just what I always wanted. A penis banner! YAY!

I was hoping for a sweater, but this will do.

Along with the banner were an invitation.

"If you fancy running it, gimme a shout with what text you want me to put on it."

Hmmm, about "Please do not send Jon banners like this."

Anyways, I'm sure Andrew is just dying to run this banner all over Diaryland. Especially now. I don't know about you, but I'm overtly cautious about being associated with any kind of pornography on the web.

I don't want this to happen to me.


So I've been going to the gym as of lately.

Here's what my workout plan looks like...

- Run on the tread mill for half hour.

- Go outside and smoke a cigarette.

- Work on my arms and shoulders.

- Go outside and smoke a cigarette.

- Work on my chest and legs.

- Go outside and smoke a cigarette.

- Go home and make carrot, parsley, apple juice.

- Smoke a cigarette in between sips.

I think I'm too French. That's what my dad says.

"Jean, you vill nevar qwit smoking. You are too French. Eet iz part of your cul-chair'."


Just when people begin to talk about the Democrats not having any significant, viable leaders... Jerry Springer considers a run for the senate.

Gimme a break!


Hey! Oh My God, did you guys hear? We may be going to war with Iraq!

Shiver me timbers!

Ha, of course you've heard of it, because that's all the fucking news is talking about.

The war with Iraq....over and over again. I'm tempted to bomb the fucking country myself.

When will the TV stations just quit it with the overly-sensationalized news intended to panic the fuck out of you, and just get on with what really affects our lives.


The government could be planning on blowing up the moon for all I care. I don't want to hear about it for 9 months straight.


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