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Quit fiddlin' wit' dem' youngins' Michael.

Michael F'ing Jackson.

Looks like he's in a little trouble, dunnit'? As of right now the King of Popping his thumb up little boys asses is negotiating his surrender to the police.

Can you imagine Michael Freegin' Jackson in a California prison? Picture the show Oz but twenty times worse.

Need a clearer picture? OK, go get a carrot and pretend it's Michael Jackson's behind. Now stick that carrot in a garbage disposal. catch my drift? He's in serious, serious trouble.

The worst part is that Michael doesn't even have a concept of how bad the underbelly of society can be. You've seen him try to mock it in some of his videos like 'Beat It' and 'Bad'. But when he's surrounded by a bunch of gang members in real life telling him "you ain't bad" I wouldn't count on a dance number to prove otherwise.

Anyways, I trust the good TV producers of this country will do the right thing and get a reality show out of all of this. Americans from coast to coast will tune in every Thursday to see Michael get his butt slammed. Talk about must see TV.


Before I started dating my girlfriend I use to think that vegetarians were healthy.

That was until the other night when I witnessed her eating her "favorite" meal, which consisted of Hamburger Helper (without the meat, of course) black beans, onions, and sour cream.

It was the grossest thing I've ever seen. It almost made me puke up my veal. How could somebody eat such a thing? It's cruel and inhumane.


Within minutes you can check out my tribe's Immunity Challenge here.

It's a bit different from what I wanted to do. The goal was to write a Harlequin Romance. My idea, which got shot down in 2.3 seconds was to have the main love intrest be between Uncle Bob and a plate of ribs.

It would have been great, but part of playing on a team is to shut up and let other people's talent come through.

Also, if you're into term papers, you might want to check out the competition's IC.

*Warning* May Cause Drowsiness. Do Not Operate Heavy Machinery While Reading Their IC!


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