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I Wanna' Ralph

At the very moment when John Kerry squeeks ahead of George Bush in a national poll, the door slams open and THIS jackass walks in....

I don't care if you live every word that comes out of this guy's nasty mouth. If you hate Bush, and would have much rather of seen Gore in the White House, than this shit is your fault.

(Whining prick" "But Genghis, we need a thrid party candidate to send a message to the two party system....

Blow me. Hate to break this to you, but sometimes in life you have to focus more on who you don't want in more than who you do.

I hate George Bush, but I would have voted for him twice if he was running a close race with say, Pol Pot.

Great time to send a message. Here's a message from Genghis Jon to all you Nader-Hippies. Ralph's a blabbering weirdo...

He goes on and on about all these conspiracy theories that just make you either want to puke, or stick a dandilion up your ass and put on a CSY record.

And you know what? I don't care if he was the only candidate who's not taking all sorts of money from special interests. Seriously I don't. The guy's just a freak.

First off, what's up with that 6' 4" bullshit? No way. Not gonna' happen. Think about this. When we send our new Pres over to meet the head of China, the guy's gonna have such an inferiority complex that he'll have to nuke us. Think about it as if Russia sent over a new 9' 5" Czar, or whatever the hell they have these days. You bet your ass we'd nuke 'em.

The guy's never been married. No girls, guys, nothing. The guy appears to have no interest in sex whatsoever. None. Nada.

Sex for you Mr Nader? "No thanks, I'm too busy writing a book on car safety."

The guy's just pissing away something millions of Catholic priests would kill for. The human right to fuck.

The guy's a celebrity. He could be getting tail from unwashed Phish fans every night of the week.

Instead he chooses to spend his nights fighting for the rights of the consumer.

that's wonderful Mr nader, you're have more self-control than I ever will, but you keep your Vulcan ass out of the White House.

And you readers keep your retarded selves from voting for this guy, and keeping Bush in power because the oposition is divided.

If you just havta' be different, vote for Kucinich in the primaries. Then go around and tell people what a rebel you are. People will be freaked out at what a non-comformist you are. It's just like getting a nosering, you free thinkers, you.

But when the national election comes around. Don't be a dickhead. Shut the fuck up and vote Kerry.


Speaking of voting, my good old buddy Weetabix, who I've never had any dialoge with in my life, has sent me an email asking me to suggest to my readers that they go here and vote for the late Chrome Magnum Man for the legacy award.

Think of it as a warm up to not voting for Nader. It's an easy warm up because Nader isn't a nominee. Good luck.


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